spider-girl || k.bakugo

48 || give up

THERE YOU WERE, SITTING AGAINST THE CHERRY BLOSSOM TREE ON TOP OF THE GRASS HILL.

it was so peaceful and quiet- you looked absolutely beautiful. your hair free of knots and dirt, your skin clearer than the sky, and your eyes brighter than a star.

your white gown created small individual folds on top of each other as the wind continued to blow. the field went on forever. in the distance was a small stone brick house with a burning chimney, clothing racks hanging to dry, and a basket of bread and fruit on a laced cloth table with tea cups.

your skin was free of scars and bruises and your eyes were gone of fear. it was as if you've never lived the life you were previously living.

where was this? what was this? where were you and him?

"you know," you finally spoke, catching bakugo off guard as he was lost in thought, "i've always heard about how people could let others into their mind so they could say a proper goodbye."

your voice. it was so gentle it could put a baby to sleep without trying. he's never heard you at such peace. there is no trace of worry in your tone, not one ounce.

"i woke up this morning having no idea it'd be my last." you let out a light laugh and placed with the strings attached to your gown. "but you never know with this job."

"no," he finally spoke, "you're still alive. this is all fake. wake up, now."

"why would i give up peace for a guaranteed nightmare?" your voice stayed at the same volume, but not at the same tone. "why would i leave the opportunity of having a breath of fresh air?"

"because you're 17. are you really going to be one of those bitches who die young and never live the life they wanted to?" it was obvious he didn't bother to return the same energy you were giving.

"you're not supposed to do this. you're not supposed to just leave your family and fucking friends because you're lazy," he cried out, "it doesn't work like that!"

"so just- just come back. you hear me?" he leaned closer to grab your wrist, and atlas, he couldn't feel the warmth he was craving.

still, he shook your arm constantly to remind you he was right next to you.

"i shouldn't have left your side back there. i- i should have thrown the stupid phone across the ground and went to hunt the bastard who did this."

"but it doesn't mean we can't do it! when you open your eyes and recover, you can tell me more of your stories and shit. please."

"i don't have to worry about being home to protect my family anymore. peter doesn't have to feel the guilt of making sure i'm okay, nobody does." you let the words breeze off your lips as if they didn't mean a thing, and he hated that.

"so fucking selfish," he cursed under his breath, "you think everybody will be okay? huh? think about it." you looked at him in curiosity.

"your family will live in constant guilt they let you do this job," he continued, "your friends will wonder what they did wrong for you to not trust them. kids around the world will be in fucking despair their hero died. and i'll be here knowing you didn't try to live."

"does that sound worth it?" he looked at you dead in the eyes holding so much fear and anger, "does that sound worth it to you, y/n? does all of this seem better than continuing to see what you'll do in the future?"

you never answered him. all you did was stare. there was nothing for you to say, really, and even if you wanted to, you couldn't.

"say something." he begged for a response, but stopped when he realized something was wrong.

the world around slowly started to deteriorate into an empty void. was this what was really going on in your mind? this was the reality your soul truly believed it belonged in and it deserved.

he looked back at you, your emotionless face almost too far gone to retrieve. but he had to try.

"is this how you really want to go out?!" he shouted over the deafening rumble of your surroundings, the void getting closer and closer to you.

the void represented an official death. once it has reached you, you're gone forever. as long as there is still light, you are still able to fight through the force and wake up.

you were oblivious to the knowledge that your family was trying to get a hold of you in every way, your best friends at home are calling to tell you they understand why you kept everything a secret and that they still loved you.

and peter was desperately trying to find and save you because if he doesn't, he'd only have one person left in his world and he couldn't lose anybody else.

your fear of the world hating every aspect of you was a total miscalculation. it was the opposite. sure, there are always going to be people who hate you. but the amount of support and love you're receiving at the moment is admirable. but you don't even know.

bakugo looked at the single tear down your cheek, and finally collapsed into the reality you were going to be gone in less than a minute.

he threw his arms over the back of your shoulders and rested his chin on your shoulder accepting your fate.

"i'm sorry." he whispered in your ear wanting you to know how he feels before he wasn't able to ever say it again. "thank you for putting up a fight with me that day."

he blinked and awoke. it has only been a few seconds in the real world to the others.

even though you were still breathing and your heartbeat was there, he was aware of how close you were while your friends didn't.

meanwhile, you were still in your own world, being surrounded by a crumbling fake reality revealing a forever empty black void. you lied to yourself, the other reality of a field and stream wasn't death, you didn't know what was.

but god, you were sure hoping it wasn't an empty space for eternity.

you hugged onto your tree as the crumbling got closer. the sound of the world falling apart was louder than it should have been- you wanted to hold on to your ears instead of the tree.

but you still hugged the tree. you pretended it was your family, or your pets, friends, and boyfriend.

closing your eyes, you took a deep breath and let warm tears fall down your cheeks and down your neck thinking about the things you have done and could have done.

. . .

it was pitch black.
it was hot.
it was painful.

but you could feel the air breeze against your skin, the pair of arms under your back, and the heat from the burning trees surround you.

"don't die on me you idiot, we're almost there." a voice greeted your ears and your hand was held in someone else's.

okay so the SAT retake is this saturday and finals start monday, so i don't know when the next chapter will be out, i'm sorry. maybe this week or late next week, depends on how indecisive i am

there will be a fight scene before the book ends

happy pride <3 you're all valid. i'm unlabeled and pronouns are she/they

anyways, enjoy your week :))