It's never over

Canon meets fanon

So Harry and Ron found a computer in the attic of Grimmauld Place. Who put it there? No one knows. It seems very advanced for its time, and has strong wifi. When the internet is opened, it comes up on one thing. Fanfiction. A variety of fanfiction, mostly ships. As of this moment no ship is canon, and everyone hates any thought of getting together with anyone else. What will happen next?

Harry and Ron's eyes were glued to the screen.
"Wait. What the bloody hell are we reading?"
Ron asked.
"I think it's... a book of some sort. And there's two characters. They're names are Draco and Hermione. Wait..."
They read farther down the chapter.
"That's not..."
"Our Hermione...."
"And Draco Malfoy....?"
Ron gagged and headed for the stairs.
"That was painful. Coming Harry?"
Harry shook his head.
"This...this one has my name in it. And Ginny's."
Ron sighed and closed the door. A few minutes later he heard stomping from the attic and a slammed door.
"Don't go in there that thing is evil."
Harry hissed and slammed the door to their room. Ron looked back up at the room.
"Oh hey Ron!"
Ron turned around to see Hermione. Suddenly the words of her and Malfoy flashed in his mind. He could feel himself starting to throw up.
"Yeah, got to go, don't, don't go into the attic!"
He pushed past her and rushed to the bathroom.
"What?"
Hermione's curiosity go the better of her. She climbed the latter into the attic and slowly walked to the computer.
"Is this what they were talking about? It's nothing but-"
She stopped and read the words.

"But, Professor...."
Hermione whispered into the darkness.
"Shhh...Hermione, everything will be okay."
Hermione snuggled closer to Snape.

"Oh Merlin that's...that's sick!"
Hermione dashed down the steps.
"Hermione?"
Lupin asked as she slammed the door to her and Ginny's room.
"Don't bother. Harry and Ron are both like that. Something with the attic."
Ginny passed Lupin with a bag.
"Dead rats for Sirius."
Ginny replied when Lupin started to ask what was in the bag. Lupin shrugged and decided to find out what all the fuss about the attic was about. The computer screen glowed in the darkness.
"Is this....?"
He pulled the chair out and started reading.

"Hermione...wait."
Lupin bit his lip.
"I....I...."
Hermione's arms wrapped around herself.
"It's just....I....I'm not ready for this..."
Hermione picked up a book.
"This isn't how I imagined it would be from books."
Lupin laughed.
"Me neither."
Hermione smiled.
"But...but maybe....maybe I've been reading the wrong books."
She leaned in closer.
"Maybe I have too."

"And they did what?! I mean, I did-she did-we-WHAT IS THIS?!"
Lupin jumped back from the screen.
"Oh Merlin! Hermione!"
Lupin yelled. Sirius watched as Lupin dashed past and towards the girl's room.
"Problem?"
Lupin glared at him.
"In the attic."
Sirius rolled his eyes and headed up the steps.
"Seriously, what's all the fuss about-"
He stopped when he saw the large print at the top of a fanfiction story.

Snape x Lupin

"I should get Dumbledore..."
He quickly turned around.
Before Sirius had reached the attic, two twins had snuck up there to look for anything useful for their experiments.
"Hey... Fred.... you should see this...."
George said as he pointed at a screen. Fred stumbled over a few boxes to George. The twins eyes went from the screen to each other, and they both apparated on separate sides of the house.
Now Ginny was very confused. First Harry had locked himself in his bedroom, and refused to even think a out her, then Ron retched at the sight of Hermione. Hermione looked as if she was about to scream when she locked herself into their bedroom, and Lupin had followed after apologizing and promising it wasn't real. Fred and George were on opposite sides of the house, not speaking to one another. After that, Sirius had told her to stay out of the attic, and had went to summon Dumbledore. Ginny threw the bag of rats she was holding into Buckbeak's room and went back to the stairs. What was up there? Everyone knew but her. She poked her head into the attic. A glowing screen seemed to be calling her. She pushed herself up, and walked over to it.
"What is this?"
She moved the mouse. Lots of words appeared. Her brain swept them in, causing her to go very white. But she couldn't stop reading.
"Oh that's...that's really...dirty."
She searched for the right word. Not wanting anyone to know she was up here, she slid back down the ladder and continued in with cleaning the house.

Dumbledore had arrived at the house where Sirius claimed the dark object was. He was staring at the computer screen, which was now flashing through several different ships, and muttered,
"I'm going to need anyone who had any contact with this here."
Sirius nodded and went to find everyone. Dumbledore waved his wand and the screen went blank.
"That's better."
Sirius had returned with Harry, Ron, Hermione, Fred, George, and Remus.
"Can you tell me what you saw on here?"
Harry and Ron gazed down.
"Well, first there was this...this..."
"Call it fanfiction."
Dumbledore told them.
"This fanfiction with Hermione and Draco Malfoy... together."
Hermione gasped.
"No need to worry, fiction is all it is. Would you like me to wipe your memories of it?"
Harry and Ron said
"Yes!"
At the same time.
"Obliviate."
Their eyes went blank.
"Why are we up here?"
Ron asked.
"Oh yeah, cleaning. I'm going to find Ginny."
He left. Harry, however was staring at the computer.
"It stopped, finally."
He sighed.
"What else- I mean what did you see?"
Sirius asked.
"Well, um, me and, me and Ginny. After Hogwarts. With, or... or having kids."
Harry muttered.
"Obliviate."
Dumbledore nodded.
"Ms. Granger?"
Hermione glared at the screen.
"A fanfiction involving Professor Snape and me."
Dumbledore sighed.
"It now seems that it would be best to obliviate you all at once, but I need to know which memory I'll be taking."
Fred and George spoke up.
"Well, it was me and him."
"But we're twins and that's..."
"Disgusting."
Sirius scoffed.
"Incest happens all the time in pureblood families. Never thought anyone would want that."
"Moving on..."
Dumbledore said. He looked to Lupin.
"Well, it was... Hermione and me. Very... close."
Hermione blinked rapidly.
"Wait how many people have I been with now?"
"Malfoy, Snape, Lupin..."
Fred and George started.
"Yes yes. Sirius?"
Sirius shuddered as if he was remembering a bad scene.
"Severus Snape with Remus."
Lupin gagged.
"Um, how about no."
Hermione grimaced.
"Is that all?"
"Should be."
"Good. Obliviate."

Later that evening, Ginny had still not found out why everyone was suddenly fine and why Dumbledore came. The living room was finally clean enough to live in, so everyone was just talking in there. Sirius had turned into Padfoot, and was padding up to people to try and get them to laugh at his dog face. Harry and Ron lost easily, but he almost got a book thrown at him when he bothered Hermione, who was reading muggle fiction. He earned himself a scratch behind the ears from Lupin, who had said,
"Like that, don't you Padfoot?"
Ginny, suddenly remembering the fanfiction, turned very white.
"I-I'm going to bed now...."
She had dashed from the room in a second.
"Was it something I said?"

Dozens of miles away, many years in the future, a few fans were sitting around a computer writing fanfics.
"That ships is just wrong."
One girl told a boy.
"Yours is worse. Besides, it's not like the characters are actually going to see them, is it?"