It's never over

Heaven

So, you imagine Heaven as puffy clouds and stuff. Yeah, we'll say it's that. So, we were sitting on a cloud, the three marauders, Peter rejected into the seventh circle of Hell. Supposedly that's reserved for the people who betray their friends in some religions, but I don't really know. I don't even know what religion that is. I don't even know what religion Heaven is. I'm dead. That's all. But I don't think it's Hell because it's pretty good. James is here. Lily, Remus, Tonks. Marlene. And sadly Snape. Oh well. But we were just sitting on a cloud, complaining about life, which I, Padfoot, have every right to complain about. I can complain about death as well because I fell through a CURTAIN. AND I DIED. WHAT. NO. So we were complaining.
"Well-"
"Okay, Prongs, yes you just got the girl of your love life and you married her, had a son, and died. Pretty much like Moony.....but you didn't have to spend TWELVE YEARS in Azkaban, eat any rats in your life time, and die by DRAPERY. YOU FACED VOLDEMORT. I FELL THROUGH A VEIL. And now, fangirls. Who do they think they are? Pairing me with EVERYONE in the biography? I don't love Remus, no offense mate, I'm never going to kiss Ginny, Hermione, Snape, a number of pinked haired fictional character that do not exist, you James, Lily, Dumbledore, Santa Claus, Harry, Kreacher, I don't even know Dobby, or a dementor. AND defiantly not Tonks, Bellatrix, Regulas, or Narcissa. WHO SHIPS THAT. WHO EVER STARTED THAT CAN JOIN PETER. SANTA ISN'T REAL, FOLKS. SORRY , HE'S A FIGMENT OF YOUR PARENTS IMAGINATION."
"Awwww Padfoot. Do you want a hug?"
"NO PRONGS I'M TRYING TO BE EMO. I DON'T WANT A- group hug. I love you guys."

Ok I made half those ships up, hopefully no one ships Sirius x Santa Claus, that's disturbing. Siriusly.