It's never over

Things I am not allowed to do at Hogwarts

I am not allowed to help Peeves in any way, shape, or form.

I don't care who Snape took points from, ten more will be taken from my house if I say it in a chipmunk voice.

If someone is transfigured into a block of ice, "You just got Elsa'd" is not an appropriate answer.

For the last time, please refrain from asking Professor Lupin stupid questions involving anything to do with wolves, the full moon, or how to work the Marauders Map.

And he's not in a relationship with Professor Snape. I don't care what Fred Weasley told you.

Or George.

Stop passing out knitting patterns for wooly bladders based off of Hermione's elf hats.

Do NOT feed jelly beans to any stray dogs near the forbidden forest.

Don't follow any stray dogs into the forest.

Don't lead any stray dogs into the forest.

Just stay away from the forest in general.

And stray dogs.

I know Mr. Malfoy screamed 'Dementor Dementor!" at Mr. Potter. That does not mean you can yell 'Hippogriff Hippogrif!' And point at something behind him every time he comes near you.

If I see you anywhere near Cedric Diggory with a tube of glitter glue...

Stop asking about getting a muggle fiction section in the library. The last thing we need are Gryfindors jumping off the roof and Ravenclaws plotting the downfall of our system.

Please don't tell the Hufflepuffs Father Christmas isn't real.

Or the Slytherins for that matter.

While your at it the whole first through third year population.

If one more person exclaims "We're off to the wizard! The wonderful wizard of Oz!" when sent to Dumbledore's office I will scream.

Stop asking Professor McGonagall "What's up pussy cat?"

Or generally singing in her class room.

Yes, I know Ron has a rat and Albus has a pheonix and Albus Severus has a ferret and Ginny owns a pygmy puff and Hagrid has a dog and some people can have pets off of the list, you can't bring a unicorn to potions.

Jarvey: resembles an overgrown ferret and often shouts rude things. Does that sound like a good Care of Magical Creatures lesson to you?

We've been over this several times. If at any time you see Sirius Black, please don't scream mass murderer.

Especially if he's in Padfoot form

And don't do that same thing to Ron's rat

Or new owl

Because his owl is NOT an animagus

And neither are you

Unless you're unregistered in which case is not only breaking the Hogwarts rules but the wizarding world laws

*cough cough* Marauders

Do not sell water labeled as fangirl repellant to cannon characters

Yes, they're your OTP, but that doesn't mean you can lock them in a closet until they snog each other

Locking anyone in a closet is prohibited

Draco Malfoy is not a ferret, and should never be petted like one

Again, Malfoy is not a ferret, and should not be fed marshmallows

In fact, ferrets don't even like marshmallows I don't know where you got that idea

There is no Harry Potter fanclub

Don't suggest it

If you tell Hermione and Draco to confess their undying love, someone's going to die

Don't try it, we really don't need Ronald Weasley becoming a murderer

And if you use the excuse "But his rat was!"
You're going to detention

Don't feed the giant squid

Don't throw rocks at the whomping willow, I don't care if you wanted it to play "baseball"

Umbridge is not an appropriate test subject for Skiving Snackboxes

Scratch that, anything having to do with Umbridge is fair game

Just be prepared to serve detention with her

If there's one more Sirius Black wanted poster with any ink markings, devil horns, dog ears, wolfstar with a heart around it, or otherwise, I will personally expel you

Unless you're Harry Potter

Because none of these rules apply to Harry Potter

Professor Snape adds:
Ten points from Gryffindor for every rule broken

Even if you're from another house