Falling // Florence Boswell // Finn Shelby

(31)

❌❌❌SUBSTANCE (COCAINE) USE ❌❌❌

Florence looked at her reflection in the mirror, her dark-rimmed under eyes were getting worse. Although her father wasn't here, she always felt unsafe. Every corner she would take, she would spot a different man staring at her, and she knew these were her 'Father's spies'.

Florence looked at her stomach and waist, seeing how much weight she lost made her feel sick. She was never big, she was always curvy. But now, she was near bone. Her ribs were prominent, her arms skinny and her fingers bony. Florence hated her appearance, to the point that all the mirrors in her bedroom were covered.

Her eyes drifted down to a vial on her dresser table, her heart racing. She picked it up, turning it to look at the contents inside. Florence knew she was going to hell, she had drank alcohol and now taken drugs, but right now she didn't care. The once, happy, spiritual catholic girl was deteriorating, and nothing was working.

Florence emptied the contents onto her dresser, and knelt down. She grabbed a card and lined up the cocaine, her head looking up so she could see her own reflection. Her eyes shut as she snorted the devilish substance, her head going light.

Florence knew at that moment, she would be happy. Happy until the drugs wore off, and she would go back to being alone and sad.

She stood up straight, a soft sigh escaping her lips as she did so. Her eyes looked at her reflection in the mirror again, and she could feel her fiery temper rising. Florence saw red, and she didn't stop until she could actually physically see red.

In a fit of rage, she had smashed her mirror, her hands all bloody from her outburst. Florence let out a loud cry as she fell to her knees, her head in her hands.

"Flo". Came Daniels soft voice, his eyes wide.

Florence turned her head to look at him as she let out a loud cry. "Oh....Daniel". She whispered, her arms out for him to come to her.

Daniel looked at her with an uneased look in his eyes. The blood from her hands was trailing up her arms, leaking onto the laced sleeves of her dress. "Your hurt". He whispered, as he rushed towards her.

Florence wrapped her arms around him, holding him close. "I just hurt myself that's all, I'll be okay". She said. She pulled away and smiled at her brother. "How about you have the day of school and we can go and get ice cream?" She asked.

Daniel shook his head. "It's James' birthday today, we're having cake and we're going to have a story told". He answered. A wide smile spread across his face. "Can we have ice cream after school though?" He asked.

Florence smiled and nodded her head. "Of course, go grab your bag". She whispered.

Florence watched as Daniel rushed off, leaving her alone on her bedroom floor. She really was alone in this world. Daniel had his own things, and she would never make him choose her first. Florence washed her hands, wrapping a bandage around them as they continued to bleed.

The walk to school was quiet, Daniel was too busy looking at the beauty of the world, whilst Florence was trying to stay calm. The cocaine had started to make her anxious, as she felt everyone was staring at her.

Once she dropped Daniel off at the school, she started to walk. Florence had no idea where she was going to go, she didn't want to go home. She couldn't.

Florence found herself walking past the Garrison, her eyes on the pub. One drink wouldn't hurt, she thought to herself.

"Hope you're not planning on going into that pub Florence. Nasty people the Shelby's are, only care about themselves". A voice behind her said.

Florence turned her head to look at one of her father's friends, Andrew said. Florence shook her head, her head spinning. "No...No I'm going down to the canal for some fresh air". She replied.

Andrew nodded, and watched as Florence stumbled away. Her bandaged hand came to move her hair from her face, the sun was too bright for her.

The rain the night before made the mud slippy, and Florence found herself having to hold onto the wall as she went down the small hill.

She could hear the water before she could see it, her eyes all hazy as she stepped forwards. Something collided into her, knocking her down on the ground.

"For fuck sake Curly, be careful". Charlie Strong shouted. He rushed off the horse, and moved to Florence helping her up.

"Florence....are you okay?" He asked, but it came out as a buzzing noise for Florence. She looked up at him, giving him a small nod.

"For fuck sake girl, are you high?" He asked, as he held her upright.

Florence shut her eyes and leaned forwards, her arms wrapping around Charlie's waist. He frowned at the sudden interaction with the young girl, his arms slowly wrapping around her. "Florence....dear what's wrong? What's happened to your hands?" He asked.

Curly stood there anxiously, gently rocking back and forth. His head turned as Arthur, John and Finn walked down the hill towards them, small frowns on their faces as they looked at Florence and Charlie.

"I smashed my mirror". She answered, her eyes still shut.

"Why did you do that for you silly girl". He muttered, his head nodding at the Shelby brothers.

"I hate myself". She replied.

Charlie sighed and pulled her away, his hands grabbing her face. "What have you taken? You don't hate yourself Florence, why would you? Just....get home and sleep it off okay? I'll come to you later to check on you". He whispered.

Florence shook her head, pushing Charlie away. "No". She snapped, turning around to walk away. Charlie let out a sigh as he grabbed her arm. "Florence, your going home now". He said, his voice stern.

"Finn lad, why don't you take her home. We'll sort out everything here, and go to Liverpool". Arthur muttered.

Finn nodded and stepped forwards, taking Florence's arm. "Come on". He said.

Florence shook her head, standing still. "NO". She shouted, refusing to move. Finn turned around and let out a sigh. "We can do this the easy way or the hard way". He muttered.

"Fuck you". Florence replied, her eyes harsh.

Finn nodded his head, and swopped Florence into his arms. "LET ME DOWN". She shouted. Arthur and John watched as Finn carried Florence up the hill and out of sight.

"Your so annoying". Finn muttered as he continued to carry her.

Florence glared at him, her head falling backwards as she shut her eyes. "Your annoying". She whispered.

Finn shook his head as he continued to walk, ignoring the looks that people gave them. He walked to the Boswell household and pulled at the handle. "You really need to lock your front door after you". He muttered, as he kicked the door open.

Florence didn't answer, as she wrapped her arms around Finn's neck. Her head was resting on his chest.

Finn walked up the stairs, his eyes looking down at the now sleeping Florence. He pushed her bedroom door open a little wider, a sigh escaping his lips as he looked at the state of her room. The glass from earlier was still shattered across her dresser and floor.

He placed her down on the bed and threw her cover over her. Finn licked his bottom lip, and decided whether he should stay or not. His eyes latched on her dresser, looking at the reason why she was like this. Finn walked over and snatched them up from her table, slipping them into his pocket.

He walked back to where Florence was laying, her eyes where clenched shut. She was hugging a teddy bear that looked years old. Finn let out a sigh as he sat down on the edge of her bed, his eyes on her floor. He didn't know why he was staying, he could just walk out now and leave her. She probably wouldn't even remember any of this, but as he looked at the sleeping girl beside him he couldn't find it in himself to leave.

He turned his head to look at her again, his hand moving to brush her hair from her face. When she was sleeping, she looked peaceful. Like the battle she was having, was finally on pause. Finn decided he'd wait until she woke, that's when he would leave.