Obliviate ; Fred Weasley

Eighteen

I couldn't sleep.

I cuddled with Aaron on the bed all night. He could sense that something was off so he stayed by my side throughout the night.

In the morning, I made myself some coffee. I had ghosted everyone I knew. We were supposed to have been out celebrating New Years but I just slept through the night and now it was January first of two-thousand and six.

As I drank my coffee, I stared into the flat with no idea what to do with the day. Should I leave and find somebody or should I stay in and avoid everyone?

After my third cup of coffee, I took a shower and then I did some cleaning around the flat, using no magic so I could take my mind of what happened last night.

I ignored everyone for weeks. I sealed the flat to that no one could get in or out without my permission. No apparition, no floo system and no magic on the doors.

I isolated myself.

I drank coffee and I cried. I showered and I watched some television.

I didn't sleep. Not more than a few hours per night. I just couldn't.

I didn't know where Fred was staying, and honestly... I didn't care.

One morning as I stood in front of the mirror, studying the scar that ran over my face, knocking started at the front door and I could recognise them.

It was Fred.

After a week and a half, he was back, probably to convince me to listen.

I tried ignoring the knocking, running my fingers over my scar but it just continued.

With a groan, I spun around, hurried down the hallway and towards the front door.

After unlocking it, I ripped it open and stared up at Fred.

He looked exhausted, desperate as he stared down at me.

"Darling..."

He reached out for me but I grabbed his hand and twisted his arm until he whimpered in pain.

"Don't touch me." I said and stepped aside, allowing him inside.

Once he did, I shut the door and then walked away, back to the bathroom. I closed the door and went back to the mirror.

The scar went from my forehead, through my eyebrow, down over my eye and ended past my cheekbone.

It was my biggest insecurity.

When I walked back out there, Fred was tidying up the place, and I snorted at the way it looked.

"Come back to clean up your mess, huh?"

He looked at me and cocked an eyebrow. "Have you been drinking?"

I shrugged.

"I had some... what is it called... firewhisky."

"For fuck sake, Kai."

I shook my head, closing my eyes for a moment.

"You have no right judging me." I said. "Not after what you've done."

"I was trying to protect you."

"From what?" I asked. "How bad was it? I don't remember so how am I supposed to know if you had a good reason?"

Fred put the cushions back on the sofa, then turned towards me.

"I can't tell you exactly what happened in that cabin with Theodore, but I can tell you what I saw when the war ended." He said and sat down on the sofa. "I saw you... the Kai I knew was gone. You were a wreck. You couldn't get out of bed and I had to help you bathe. I had to help you eat and stay hydrated. You lost interest in everything. You didn't want to see anyone. You just laid in bed and cried. I hated seeing you like that, Kai."

"So that makes it okay?"

"No!" He spoke and looked at me. "It does not make it okay. Not in the slightest, and I'm not trying to excuse what I did, but you need to look at it from my perspective."

I shook my head.

"I'm assuming you didn't ask for my permission."

He sighed.

"No... I didn't."

I just nodded, staring into the room for a moment before my eyes moved to him. He was all nervous, fidgeting as if he needed to say something.

"What aren't you saying?" I asked, causing him to look up, our eyes meeting. "You're holding something back."

He took a deep breath, shutting his eyes as he ran a hand over his face and into his hair.

"Theodore is the one who killed your father." He said. "I removed that from your memory as well."

I teared up immediately, this hitting me even more.

I gasped slightly, clutching at my chest. Then the first sob broke through and I felt my knees give in.

Fred stood up immediately but I held up a hand to keep him at a distance.

"I told him I forgave him!" I yelled at Fred. "I stood and I talked to him and he knew what he had done while I didn't! I let my guards down because you had erased those memories!"

"I was just trying to help you..." he said, trying to hold his own tears back.

"You were trying to help yourself!" I cried. "You want the good parts of marriage and you couldn't handle the trauma. You obliviated me so you didn't have to confront your depressed wife at home."

"That isn't true, Kai. You and I both know that!"

He sat back down on the sofa, watching me as I cried and cried while trying to catch my breath.

"Kai, baby please... take a deep breath." His voice soothed me even though I hated it. "You're going to be okay. I'm sorry for making it hurt."

I took a deep breath and continued until I felt myself calm down. I stayed against the wall, staring into the room while Fred stayed on the sofa, knowing I didn't want him anywhere near me right now.

"I stood there and I told him it was okay." I said quietly. "He's killed my dad and I told him it was okay."

"You didn't know..."

"Exactly." I said. "I didn't. I need to know. I need to remember."

I heard Fred sigh while my mind just kept running, thinking about every possibility to get my memories back.

A memory potion.

A memory potion enhanced the drinkers memory so maybe it could get my memories back if I drank it.

I just needed to make it as I had no idea where you could buy that sort of potion.

"What're you thinking about?" Fred asked, but I didn't answer.

I got to my feet and hurried into the bedroom, looking for my school books. Once I found them, I went through every single potions book until I found the recipe for the memory potion.