Obliviate ; Fred Weasley

Forty-nine

I slammed the door after Fred and I entered the flat.

Fred went straight to the bedroom, slamming the door while I pulled off my jacket and threw it over the chair by the dining table.

I kicked off my shoes and then marched to the kitchen to get something to drink.

I grabbed a glass of wine and downed it while staring angrily at our bedroom door.

Fred and Felix had gotten into a very intense fight after that first punch, and both of them ended up having their face bruised.

It ruined the entire day. Lee was now angry with Fred and had taken Felix home. Angie and George went home to spent today with their son, and Fred and I went home without saying a word to each other.

I wanted to scream at Fred which was why I decided not to be in the same room as him right now.

I needed to talk to him but I couldn't do that if I were this angry with him, so I needed to cool off.

After two glasses of wine, I walked around the flat for a bit, gaining courage to confront him about what happened.

When I did, Fred laid on his stomach, hugging my pillow to his face as he snored loudly.

I shut the door behind me and made my way to the bed. I sat there on my knees and gently shook him awake.

He woke with a soft grunt, moving a hand up to rub at his face before looking at me through squinted eyes.

"Hi baby." I whispered, offering him a smile. "You fell asleep."

He turned his face away from me and I knew he was trying to go back to sleep.

"Fred, can you sit up for a moment? I'd like to talk about what happened with Felix."

"I'm not in the mood for talking."

"Well, too bad." I shrugged. "Sit up and look at me or I'll pour water in your face."

With a groan, Fred sat up and ran his hands over his face and into his hair.

"What?" He asked and looked at me. "Say what you want to say. Yell at me."

"I'm not going to yell at you."

"Are you sure?" He asked. "That's all you seem to do lately."

"Is this where it's headed?" I asked. "Are you looking to fight with me right now? Because if that's the case, I'm gonna leave."

For a moment, Fred didn't say anything. He folded his knees and wrapped his arms around them. His eyebrows were furrowed and he looked frustrated.

"I don't want to fight either."

"Good." I nodded. "And as I see it, you don't feel like talking to me right now so I'll just speak."

Fred stared at a spot in front of him, chewing on his bottom lip. He didn't look at me. He just stayed like that, listening to my voice as I spoke.

"I talked to Angie, and I realise I haven't been there for you a lot during this miscarriage." I said. "And I'm really sorry about that. It didn't even occur to me to check in on you. I was so caught up with my own pain that I didn't see it, and I'm sorry, Freddie. I really am. I know you're upset with me over it and I know you don't want to admit that but you have every right being upset."

He shut his eyes and turned his head to the side, looking away.

"I'm not upset with you." He said quietly. "I'm just frustrated and it's not your fault. You're depressed and the depression makes you blind to other people's pain so I don't blame you and I'm definitely not upset with you about it."

He took a deep breath, then looked at me again.

"But it's not just the miscarriage. It's everything. It's watching you slowly kill yourself on the days where you can't get out of bed. It's watching you relive your traumas after getting your memories back, and it's watching you lose all trust when you learned that I took away your memories."

I didn't know what to say. I stared at him as he ran a hand through his hair, pulling the hair tie out.

"I need a fucking haircut." He sighed as the hair fell around his face.

"You don't need one." I said. "But if you want one, I can cut it."

He ran his hand through his hair again, and then looked at me in a way that absolutely broke my heart.

"Why did you punch Felix tonight?" I asked softly, reaching for him just to be near him.

"I don't know."

"I think you do." I nodded. "Did he say something that irritated you?"

"No."

"Then why, Freddie? It's your birthday and we all just wanted to have fun and celebrate and then you go do this shit."

With a sigh, he threw his head back and stared at the ceiling. He swallowed harshly and his Adam's apple moved with the action.

"He understands that I hate him and that I always will." He said. "I don't need him or anyone else to understand and I definitely do not need his pity."

"Pity?"

"He also said he was sorry to hear about the miscarriage." Fred shrugged. "He pitied me, and I don't need that arsehole to pity me."

"You punched him because he mentioned the miscarriage?"

"Just— forget about it." Fred scoffed and moved off the bed, again running a hand through his hair as he left the room.

He made his way down to the bathroom, and I sighed, shutting my eyes for a moment.

I wanted him to have a nice birthday, but here he was, spending it like this.

"Fred!" I shouted. "Please come back!"

I crawled off the bed, fidgeting with my fingers as I walked out of the bedroom and approached the bathroom door.

I went to knock on the door when it swung open and Fred stood there.

"I want a child." He said. "The only thing that beat finding out about the pregnancy, was marrying you. I was so happy and I— I'm miserable, Kai."

"And you think a child will fix that?" I asked, folding my arms over my chest.

"I'm miserable because I can't call myself a father." He said. "Everyone are becoming parents. My brothers, your brother. Even Lee and Felix are looking into ways to start a family."

"I— Fred it's only been a month." I said quietly. "And what if it doesn't hold again? It'll be even more trauma affecting the both of us."

"Let's go see someone about it then? You can have your uterus checked and if they sense there is a slight chance, then maybe we can look into adoption or IVF."

I leaned against the doorframe and shut my eyes for a moment before looking up at him.

"And what if I'll be miserable in motherhood?" I asked.

For a moment, he didn't answer.

"Maybe this was something we should've talked about before we got married, then."