I'm Vine Ft. Kim Taehyung (BTS) {COMPLETED ✔️}

Part Sixty-Five 육십오

~ Alyssa ~

A few songs later, Calum goes to the center of the stage. "You have been absolutely amazing so far!" He says, getting a lot of cheers from the crowd in return. "For the next song, we'd like to ask you to bring out your flashlights. This is and always will be one of my personal favorites. I hope it's yours too. This is Amnesia," he says. The crowd cheers and even before the song starts, the entire room is filled with a lot of lights, like a sky full of stars.

I feel a lump in my throat. Of course I know this song and I absolutely love it. But hearing it live is always a big deal for me. Together with Hongjoong, San, Wooyoung and Yeosang, I grab my phone and shine my flashlight into the air to join the sky full of stars.

Michael plays the guitar as Calum starts to sing. I feel my tears burn in my eyes. But I will hold them in. I don't want to cry. I have heard this song live a few times before, I can do this.

"Sometimes I start to wonder, was it all a lie? If what we had was real, how could you be fine? 'Cause I'm not fine at all," Calum sings. I feel the words of the song hit me like a truck. Why does it feel like they are speaking to me? Why does it feel so personal all of a sudden? But most importantly, why do these lyrics fit my situation so well?

"I remember the day you told me you were leaving. I remember the make-up running down your face. And the dreams you left behind you didn't need them. Like every single wish we ever made. I wish that I could wake up with amnesia and forget about the stupid little things. Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you and the memories I never can escape. 'Cause I'm not fine at all..."

My heart aches. Why does this song fit so perfectly? Why can't I stop picturing Taehyung, standing in front of me, telling me he fell in love with someone else?

The tears roll down my face. There is no way I could've stopped them anyways. The song hits me too hard. It is like they wrote it for us...

I try to wipe away my tears, but they keep coming and coming. I feel as broken as I felt the day he left me. Every single memory, every single moment from that day races through my mind. Why did he leave me? Why did he leave all our memories behind? Did he really not need them?

As they sing it in the song, I sometimes wish I could wake up with amnesia. Man, I would absolutely love to wake up one day and feel happy. To not feel broken or hurt or lost or empty, just because he isn't with me. Yes, I would love to know what that's like. Because deep down, I know I will always need him. I have been trying to move on, mostly for show, because I know there is nobody like him. There is nobody in the world who I could love like I love him.

Before I can stop myself, I move my eyes to him. I just want to see him. Does the song hit him like it hits me? Or does he not have any clue at all?

But as my eyes find him, his find me. My breathing stops as I see a broken soul behind his sparkling eyes. But then I realize, his eyes sparkle because of the tears inside of them. So he does feel the same way I do? Does he really feel this song hit him like I do?

I see a little hint of fear in his eyes appear when he realizes I am crying. His jaw drops a little and for a split second, it looks like he wants to run to me. Like he wants to come back to me, hug me and tell me it will all be alright. And you know what? Maybe I want him to do that too. Maybe I want him to hug me and tell me it will be alright. No matter how mad I am at him for everything, I know deep down I want nothing more than to have him back. To feel his arms around me and to hear him say all these sweet words to me. Because maybe that's what I miss the most these days.

But he won't run to me. He won't hug me and he won't tell me it will all be alright. He stays there, between Yoongi and Jungkook. And he stares at me. Even though we are both a complete mess right now, he won't even come to comfort me... Like we are just strangers who happen to cry at the same time, at the same song. Is that what we turned into? Strangers? It almost feels like it...