better off | d.m.

19.better off

Crying.

That is all she could do after Draco left through the door.

Her heart was crying big time. In dramatic fashion sliding down the kitchen cabinets, weeping for a long time. All that has been building up the last couple of days went through the floodgates.

Her chest ached like she has never felt before. A hole kept tearing open, like she was losing a part of herself.

Never in her entire life has she felt that kind of turmoil of emotions.

If she was loud enough to wake anyone in the manor, she wouldnt know, because no one came checking. Thankfully.

When she begins to only sniffle she makes her way to the room. It is now well in the early hours of the day and she has to get ready for christmas morning, but also hide from any early risers- one of them being Draco and that is just not an option.

Hiding would only help her that much, though, since her eyes are now swollen tremendously and red rimmed.

Last time she looked like this was when she had the breakdown and Draco was there.

Now she has been crying sort of over him, but more so over herself and with that he could not help. But at least he was not spared of the sight of her looking disheveled.

No honestly, she has no idea how it will go down with them being in the same room. They never argued like that and now her mind is doing backflips and tumbling.

Sage is confused with herself. Her values, her rules and her reasons. She can already feel them chip away, which is not good.

But for now she tries to act like she is alright. Spending christmas with the kids means a lot to Narcissa and Sage will damn herself if she will ruin that with her own struggles.

"Well you look fab. Whatever got your eyes that puffy?" Pansy asks parenthetically, bumping shoulders with her on their way to the sitting room.

"Me." Sage huffs, rubbing her temple. What her big crying session brought is a massive headache, that probably wont go away so easily.

"That is not a first." Theo teases her, slinging an arm over her shoulder.

He or anyone else sees her as good as never cry. And even if she does it more frequently nowadays, she likes to do it by herself. Except the times when Draco was there.

"For your eyes, only a second and consider it the last time." Sage retorts.

"Is it because of-" Blaise grunts after he gets hit in the stomach hard by Pansy.

"Hush, you wanker." Pansy hisses and then smiles sweetly at Sage. Theo couldnt contain his snickering and muttered an 'idiot' or two.

"What was that?" Sage raises a brow in confusion and intrigue.

"Nothing, honey. He just- there was a fly on his shirt, you see, and we all know how much of a whimp Blaise is." Pansy flattens out his top where she has just punched him. Blaise pushes her hand away and rubs the space of impact rid of the pain, scowling at Pansy.

Draco joins them casually, hands in pockets of the same pyjama pants he wore just a few hours ago. His hair is a little nicer, but the eyes are giving away that he either had a crying session himself or rubbed his eyes an unusual amount.

She is doing that to him by doing what she thought was the right thing.

By pushing him away.

As Sage suspected, he does a double take. No reason to ask on his part for obvious reasons. His expression changes from unreadable to unreadable. He gives her such a wee nod she could have missed it.