110%CRACKTASTIC HETALIA (and author) CRACK

Italian Fruit (better than it sounds, I promise)

America: HELLO, FRIEND. WOULD YOU LIKE TO COME TO MY ABODE TO PARTAKE IN THE EATING OF VARIOUS FRUITS?

Italy: Vee~ Are-a you ok, America?

America: I AM QUITE WELL, HOW IS YOUR HEALTH

Italy:... Good..? Umm.. I guess-a I could come over... To make-a sure you don't kill-a yourself on kitchen utensils

America: ARE TOU QUESTIONING MY ABILITY TO HANDLE SIMPLE KITCHEN INSTRUMENTS

Italy: No, No! Let's-a go to your house ok?

America: THAT SOUNDS LIKE A REASONABLE ACTION. WE SHALL SOON BE DIGESTING DELICIOUS FRUIT

Italy: I think I should drive..

America: IF THAT IS WHAT MAKES YOU MOST COMFORTABLE *pats Italy extremely forcibly on the back*

Italy: *stumbles because of America* Ok, that's-a enough of that

**WHEN THEY GET TO AMERICA'S HOUSE**

America: *takes out some strawberries* PLEASE PARTAKE IN THE FRUIT

Italy: *pulls out black pepper* *puts it on strawberry* *noms pepper strawberry*

America: WHAT IS THE SUBSTANCE YOU ARE PUTTING ON THE BERRY

Italy: Umm.. Black-a pepper..

America: WHY

Italy: It-a makes it-a sweeter

America: THAT IS ODD. YOU ARE ODD.

Italy: -.- I'm-a the weird one..?

America: INDEED, THAT IS WHAT I JUST SAID

Italy: ... I'm-a done-a with life

America: BUT YOU ARE ALIVE

Italy: Who did-a this to you, America?

America: *still smiling, as a single tear runs down his cheek. His eyes plead for the end.* WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? I ARE NORMAL HUMAN

MysteryVoice: *comes from cabinet* Git! That is not proper grammar

Italy: *opens cabinet* Oh...

MysteryVoice: *is actually Iggwad*

Italy: Why.

England: He was annoy--

Italy: You-a disgust me *takes the America Control Remote Thingy Mabobber* *stomps the ACRTM*

America: *eyes fill with tears* Thank you, Italy..

And that was the story of how thinking was made illegal. Good ni--

**police break in and arrest author for thinking**

Police#1: LOOK OUT SHE'S GOT A NOSE *shoots gun randomly everywhere*