You Will Never Be Mine ||Biblebuild||

22-LOVE

Bible never expects it's this difficult when Build ignores him. He knows all this while his heart still feels guilty over what he did to the other but his ego overshadowed his own conscience. Build agreed to his plea is enough for him so far but he cannot help but missing him.

His mind wanders thinking about Build. How beautiful Build was the first time Bible saw him, when he smiled so wide there were creases under his gleaming eyes, when Build was embarrassed his cheeks often was in a beet red, his dimples deepened perfecting his soft round face, his shoulders were hunching up and down from laughing too hard, the thundering laughter that Build did not realise till the said main covered his mouth with his small hands. Blushing.

It wasn't loud in Bible's hearing.

It's soothing. It's calming him.

It's melodious.

Bible did not realise he was smiling alone while waiting for Mile in the older's office.

He requested to meet Mile as he needs to know the story behind all of these secret and Mile is the perfect person to ask. He is still angry with his parents after all.

"Ben, I'm sorry you waited long"

Mile closes the door, coming in after he had just finished with his department meeting. He is aware of why Bible is here in his office, he is prepared for all the questions and attacks from the younger man. It's now or never.

"How are you?"

Mile sees the uneasiness in Bible.

"Of course, you know Phi, do you expect I'm all okay after knowing all of that?" Bible remarks trying not to sound rude but he cannot help it. The bits of anger still linger in his mind.

Mile nods, he hands Bible a cup of decaf coffee before sitting down across him.

"Tell me everything Phi, everything you know and please do not leave any piece out"

That is how Mile began to tell him about Nodt and Build, their wedding, the accident, the heart donation and every part of the story that makes Bible's heart clenches harder the more he listened to those stories. His eyes focused on Mile but his mind hazed.

His hands tremble.

"... Nodt and Build were so in love with each other, I think I have never seen such pure lov-"

"I hurt him" Bible cuts in.

"Yeah, you told us Bible, we know you hate this marriage."

Mile answers, trying to be as much understanding as he could. Bible always told them how he felt about the marriage and they won't judge him. Bible was caught between his own choice and his parents. As his close brother and friend, he doesn't want to pick a side.

"I beat him up, I make him hospitalised. I hurt him that bad Phi"

Bible rewords his sentence. That is the thing, the reality that Mile and Apo do not know. The ugly fact that his parents do not aware of. He beat Build until his husband was hospitalised, he left Build alone and fainted in their cold living room meanwhile he was out having fun with Us. He hurt Build with violent curses and verbal attacks every time he talked to the guy and every inch of abuse he did towards his husband that he could no longer hide them anymore.

Bible notices the shock on Mile's face.

"B-Ben...what?"

"I beat him up Phi, I was so mad. Mad at this marriage I was forced into, mad at this situation I'm in, mad at Build that I vented out all my anger towards him. I ignored him, I refused to eat the food he cooked for me, I left him alone almost all the time, I cheated on him with Us and I blamed him. I'm a loser. I'm fucked up. You don't know this right Phi?"

Bible needs to tell someone about these and he wishes Mile can help him.

"So tell me how do I fix this." His eyes are glassy.

"Help me Phi"

He stares at the table, hands fiddling due to nervousness.

Mile freezes knowing the fact. He knows Bible since the younger man was still a teenager, having to follow Mr. Sumettikul to Faith every week, Bible was very friendly and handful. He helped the staff there, he befriended many of Faith's residents. 

No matter how absurd the situation is he knows Bible would always be calm but why he acted like that towards Build?

"You know that was a domestic abuse Bible? How come you treat him like that? No matter how much you hate him violence is not the solution. Did Build act rude towards you?"

Mile's voice sounds a bit higher. His anger is budding.

Bible shakes his head. 

"Did he cheat on you?" 

It's an obvious answer, Mile thought.

"Did he beat you too? threatened you?"

Every question is answered with "no" from Bible.

"I'm sorry Phi"

the other chokes up. The words feel heavy in his mouth.

"To Build?" Bible shocks.

"Have you said sorry to Build?" Mile repeats his question.

That makes Bible shudders. He never said sorry to Build, even when he asked him to act civil with each other, that was for his own selfishness. He did not admit his mistake towards him.

"Phi, I-"

Mile stands up from his chair before striding fast towards him. His fists clench tight knowing he is almost at his limit to punch Bible. 

No, Apo will be very furious if he knows Mile touches his favourite brother.

He knows Bible acted out of his messed up mind. Bible coming to him was his last resort to ask for his help. He should be the bigger person here.

Mile unclasps his fists and massages the other's stiff shoulders, feeling the firm part tensed up.

"If you want to fix this, start by apologising to him. Show him you really wanted to change. Be honest with your action. Build maybe looks strong to you but his heart is fragile. He went through so many things. Please do not hurt him anymore. Please take care of him.

Don't waste the heart that Nodt had once used to love Build for your own selfishness and pride. It's now your own heart, listen to it. I hope you make the right decision, Bible."

Mile pats the shoulder firmly wanting to talk more before a nurse comes in, calling him for emergency assistance. Before he rushes out from the office, he asks Bible one last question, hand already at the door knob, almost closing it.

"But Bible, do you love Build?"

ㄱㅅ

Bible loves Build? Or he was just feeling indebted?

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