You Will Never Be Mine ||Biblebuild||

19-CLUELESS

Build has no energy left when he walked to the hotel feeling all dejected and exhausted. He just wanted to sleep his pain off. His eyes were swollen red from all the tears, his cheeks flushed from the cold night, and his body shivered.

Bible is in the lobby when he saw him. He doesn't know why but he can't face Build, bits of guilts are building in his heart, feeling so pathetic for how he treated him.

The remnants of memories of how he harshly acted towards Build, the push, the slaps, the angry words he uttered. It makes Bible wants to throw up. He was a jerk. He is still a jerk.

He follows the other from a few metres behind noticing how Build is wandering off, lost in his thoughts. Build doesn't notice Bible getting into the same elevator as him. He hugs his shivered body tight stumbling into the elevator. His face is pale.

The long hallway is making it harder to walk. Build stops in the middle of it, shoulders hunching. He can't feel his knees, the world is dizzy before it's all painted black

"Build!"

~~~~~

"Do you think you can wait for me until I finished my study and medical practice before we got married?"

Nodt asked him one day when he visited Build in Bangkok. He was afraid the time consumed distanced them. He didn't want to lose his one and only love.

Build smiled. He knew Nodt was afraid, to balance his responsibilities and love but of course, it was not an issue for him. Never.

"If you can wait for me years until I'm legal and if you keep on waiting for me longer even after my mom passed away, tending to my emotions and actions, why I can't do the same Phi? Of course, I can always wait for you no matter how many years it takes."

He caressed the veiny hand that has been holding him. Assured him that time won't defeat their love.

They had known each other since they were young and they could read each other well. Build knew Nodt felt burdened, working so hard to give everything for him, Nodt wanted to impress Mr. Puttha and gained his full trust before marrying Build and he was so touched by that so for him time or distance would not bother him as long as they love each other.

"I love you.." Nodt kissed their locked hands,

"I love you.." he kissed the eyebrows, the shutting eyes down to Build's nose,

"I love you" and he kissed it longer on the other's plump lips.

"I love you..and I know you're also whipped at me Build Jakapan"

Nodt bopped his nose, suddenly joked and ran from him laughing. It's always his favourite to tease his lover. He ran fast leaving Build behind, happy with the assurances that Build would always be there for him, blessed with the calmness that accompanied him whenever he was with Build.

Build saw how Nodt kept running ahead of him, his face was beaming, showing his precious gummy smile. Nodt shouted Build's name loudly leaving him behind didn't care about anything else before he stopped.

He saw how the car was speeding fast towards Nodt, erasing out everything else surrounding him except his own voice shouting

"P'Nodt WATCH OUT!!!"

******

"P'Nodt!!"

He wakes up from the dream. His body is shivering. His hands tugged hard on his own chest. There are tears on his cheek, doesn't realise he has been crying in his sleep.

It's been years since he dreamt about Nodt leaving him, the repeated occurrences of the other being hit by a car keep flashing in his dreams even though he didn't witness the scene. The dreams stop long ago but meeting with Mile somehow triggered his memories back.

"Build."

It's Bible's voice. Build is confused, he remembers walking to the hotel, remembers taking the elevator to his room then. His face scrunched trying to recall what had happened.

"You fainted in the hallway. They found you and called me."

Bible lied.

Who are they? The hotel workers? The guests? The passerby?

It was he, who was there to notice Build fainted. It was he who ran to catch Build before he fell but he suddenly doesn't know if he can admit that he's the one who helped Build.

"Are you okay? You are sweating a lot."

Bible reaches for the small towel and wipes him. He touches the other's forehead feeling the fever go down. The whole night Bible was up taking care of Build.

He listened to all his mumbles in sleep, face contorted with sadness and fears, how the other cried in his sleep calling for Nodt, how the small guy was thrashing in the bed screaming for 'no', 'wait', 'don't leave me'.

Bible witnessed that. Throughout the night, he kept holding his chest feeling the heart beats faster.

Is it his or Nodt's heart beating now?

Bible is lost in his thoughts when Build holds his warm hand. His own is cold.

"Bible"

he looks at the other, worried.

"I'm sorry for running away yesterday, I know I shouldn't have to but.." he stops.

What he should tell Bible. Why was he suddenly ran away from there? Will Bible even bothers to know? Will Bible believe him?

"It's okay. You don't have to tell me what happened but everything and everyone was good yesterday. Don't worry, the event ended well. Everyone was fine and happy." Bible cuts in.

Everyone..except me

"Mom and dad have gone back to Bangkok this morning. They are worried about you but I told them you're fine so you have to fully rest now, the doctor said you're too exhausted and dehydrated. Don't think of anything else and I want you to eat and rest, okay? You heard me Build?"

Build wants to refuse but Bible already stands up to bring the food and offers to feed him.

Suddenly he feels embarrassed, he's not used to this kind of Bible.

"I...I can feed myself "

"No, open your mouth. Let me do it or else you won't eat."

Build reluctantly opens his mouth and eats the chicken porridge. It's very delicious he doesn't realise he's too hungry now.

Bible keeps feeding him, sometimes offering him water and wiping his mouth. It's new. It's a different Bible.

Deep in his heart, Build wishes this is always Bible that he always knows. He loves the feeling. He hopes the reality doesn't change. He hopes this Bible never change. He doesn't realise he stares at his husband's focused face longer, it makes his heart beat faster.

Don't fall for him. 

It shouldn't be like this Build Jakapan.

ㄱㅅ

Nodtbiu's love story is too pure I'm making myself sad.

What do you think about Bible? Do you think he's gonna change? Do you think Build gonna starts to love Bible?

Thank you for all your support love you^^