You Will Never Be Mine ||Biblebuild||

48-GAME

"Do you think this will look good on Nong Biu? He suits pastels so I want to buy him one matching their baby. Wait... ter, we don't buy their baby's crib yet. I want to buy one, I already asked Bible and he said he still doesn't have one. Let me see if the-."

"Natta."

Mile interrupts him. Taking away the peach paternity pants he planned to buy for Build from his hand.

They have been walking by every floor in the mall, looking for Sumettikul's baby necessities and his husband can't stop talking about how cute Build was with his protruding tummy. Apo can't wait for the baby to be born, wondering whose face they're gonna resemble and Mile can see how excited his husband is.

The parents-to-be decided not to know about the gender since they didn't really mind about it but Apo knows they are gonna be super cute and pretty like their parents. Not to add how he wanted to buy everything in pairs in case they have twins even though the couple repeatedly said it's not. 

Blame it on instinct he said.

Whenever Apo's face beamed with smiles every time he touched the moving baby in Build's belly, Mile suddenly yearns for it. Seeing Bible and Build anticipating for their child, Mile feels like he's ready for one too. He wants to touch his baby moving in Apo's. He wonders how it feels then.

They have been married for 4 years. He knows that Apo always loves kids. Managing Faith that deals with lots of children makes him fonder of them. Apo had told him that he wanted kids from the beginning of their marriage but Mile was not ready. He's afraid that he couldn't take care of his baby well and end up putting most of the parenting responsibilities towards his husband.

But to see sometimes Apo's smiles vanished whenever people asked them about having a kid, or when he was tearing up at night after they suspected him of not being able to conceive. It hurts Mile that the blame is on Apo when he is the one who wasn't prepared to be a parent.

"Hey...babe why? What are you thinking about?"

Mile doesn't realise he's lost in his thoughts that he's not responding to his husband.

"Oh my god, hubby I'm sorry are you tired? Oh, I forgot that you had long hours of surgery yesterday. I'm sorry you have to accompany me here. Come on let's go home."

Apo's face is laced with worries and it guilts Mile more.

Why doesn't he realise how considerate, gentle and understanding his husband is? If only he can agree to his dream sooner. 

Apo wants to grab the pants back before Mile finally voices it out to him.

"These pants, I wonder how would it look in you?"

Mile smirks. One eyebrow up.

"What? What do you mean? Why would I wear that? I'm not preg-."

"Let's make one."

Apo thinks he must have heard it wrong. What does Mile mean by that? He understands Mile is not ready for kids and he respects it. But why suddenly his husband said that to him? He ignores Mile's words by laughing them out and regards them as a joke.

"You're funny Mile. Don't joke like that."

"I'm not joking. I'm ready. I want to be a dad. I want to see you carrying our child. Seeing Bible and Build experience a lot of things in their marriage but still pull through with the pregnancy, why can't I buck up and be prepared for my own? After all, you always wanted one right?"

There is an obvious shock on Apo's face. His heart drumming fast. His eyes felt hot. The tears threaten to fall but he wipes them fast. His husband always loves to surprise him.