R O L L I N G R E D •H.S•

❦31 • w h a t ' s y o u r f a v o r i t e s c a r y m o v i e ?

• M O L L Y •

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Before we arrived to the showing tonight, I had to keep myself locked up in my room all day. When I woke up, I cried for a long time before I decided to make everyone breakfast. As I was cooking, I was thinking about poisoning Harry's food, but knowing he isn't much of a breakfast person, I decided it would be best to just be the bigger person.

When I walked in on Harry and Liz last night, I felt like my life flashed before my eyes. I know that sounds cliché, but it's true. Time stopped. Time was still for every second that passed by, only, that's just how felt. Time didn't really stop, because every movement she made on top of him—her hips rolling, his cock hitting her g-spot repeatedly before he started to thrust his hips upwards to ram into her; his muscles flexed which each bounce she made and each thrust he continued to make while I was standing there—it was just in slow motion. I know it wasn't, they were moving like someone had pressed play on a remote to a movie, but I felt out of body. Like, my soul had left and watched everything from afar, just so I could see my own reaction.

I thought I didn't know what to feel after I went into a room and locked myself inside for the rest of the night. That was until I cried. And when it felt good to let it all out, I didn't stop. I couldn't stop. It isn't about the cheating. It's about the lock of trust I had built up with him, and while I was thinking one thing, he was doing something that didn't even cross my mind. Standing out there messing around for fun, for his own entertainment, his idea to play hard to get all night—I never would have crossed that line. Not knowing how someone feels about you until they prove to you how they feel, is a very heart aching guessing game. My mother always told me, "You never know someone until you do." And, that has always stuck with me. She was right. You don't know somebody until you truly do. Until they show you their true colors.

Harry had shown me his.

Instead of being bright and colorful, he's dark, twisted, sick, and his soul isn't black or colorful, he's see through. He let me see right through him.

He never cared, did he? Hurting me was probably a game plan of his all along. The feeling I get knowing I don't know this man at all, makes me want to curse myself for thinking that I did, for believing that he felt for me romantically, that he actually cared for me the way he said he did, for telling me sweet nothings just to not mean them. But, it doesn't surprise me one bit. I don't know anybody the way I thought I did.

My mother and father want me dead so they have nothing standing in their way for when they go after Harry's father. My brother who I thought was dead for a long time—is sitting a couple of seats away from me right now, and the one person who I have found trust and safety in is sitting next to me, and as much as I want to hold his hand or let my knee brush against his, I don't. Because, why would I? This man made me feel like I was someone who he couldn't go without, and showed me sides of him nobody has ever seen before, and then asks me to be his girlfriend. The man who has never had a girlfriend before in his life, is the same man who let his guard down and opened up to me, trusting me enough to experience something with him that he's never felt before, for the first time ever, only to cheat on me not even a full twenty-four hours later.

"You're nervous," he whispers into my ear, his arm resting on the armrest of his seat next to mine.

I keep my eyes on the screen. Speaking to him for the first time, I say, "No, I'm not."

I can feel his lips smirk while he brushes them against my ear. A shiver runs down my spine, making the hairs on my body stand up with the delicate touch of his breath fanning the skin on my neck.