R O L L I N G R E D •H.S•

❦66 • u r h a v i n g a . . .

• M O L L Y •

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Today, I find out what gender you two are. I don't care really; if I'm being honest, I will love both of you equally, no matter what you two are. I would be lying if I said I didn't want a little girl, only because I'm dying to use the name 'Sunny.'

Your father said he was okay with that, and suggested that it could a little boys name as well. So, I guess either way, it'll work out in our favor.

This is a letter to each of you, as a whole, but only because I don't know your genders yet, and even if I did, I love you two both the same so two letters aren't necessary. I know neither of you will be reading this until you're both old enough to read, and maybe even a good ways down the road after you learn. I'm writing to you both, so you both have this to look back on for whenever you need me and I'm not there.

There will come a day when you'll need your mother, or simply just want me around. With the way my life is, I'm afraid love bugs, that I may not make it out of this alive. Though, if I do, you won't be reading this until I grow old and die in my sleep.

Never forget, lovelies, that you are worth it. Life will push its way through the soft crevices of your fears, use them against you and hold you at gunpoint, but do not stand in front of its trigger. You both will be strong, knowing your father is as strong as he is; I know for a fact that if I wasn't strong at all, you'd both get it from him. Because he is, the strongest man that I have ever known.

Well, besides your uncle, Levi. He's a strong one. A tough one.

So, you will find that you have some crazy family members. Zayn is pretty cool, he's sweet and kind, and he takes very good care of mommy. He'll love you both so much and never let you in harms way. Louis may be a tough one to crack, but eventually, he'll get over his fear of you two little crotch goblins!

All jokes aside, Kelly and Niall will put their lives before yours in case of an emergency. Never use this to your own advantage, they are great people and you'll come to learn that even though they can be annoying; they'll love you more than they love themselves.

So, my babies, I want you to repeat this every night before you go to bed. Look in a mirror, or simply lay in your bed and say these out loud or inside of your beautiful heads...

I am worth it.

I'm loved.

I'm strong.

Repeat them until you believe them. Even if you lie to yourself in a moment when you don't think they are true; then do so until it's the only thing that you believe. Believe them like most believe in their religion.

I know you two can overcome anything if you truly put your minds to it.

So for whenever either of you need a hand to hold, please know that I am always right here to squeeze your hands in reassurance. If you need a shoulder to cry on, I'll sit with you both in the dark and we can sit in silence and not talk if that's what you'll need. I'll never push either of you two into telling me what's going on inside your mind, I want you guys to be comfortable enough to tell me on your own time. I may make a comment or pry by joking with you, but only because I care and I know you will need that to hold onto.