[1] Let It All Out (Vent/Reklamo)

Di Gusto Ni Mama

Ptpa... long post ahead.
I'm an only daughter. May asawa at mga anak na po ako pero bago kami nakapagsama, my mom was against our relationship because of age gap. Ayaw pa nga nya na ikasal kami noon and kahit nagpaalam kami, di sya nag approve. Tinuloy namin civil wedding kahit walang partido ko ang naka attend kasi kahit lola ko hindi pinayagan ng mom ko na sumama.
That was on our 7th year together na nga kasi we tried to wait it out kung ookay na ba si mother.
Ganito po ang start: nasa mom ko ako nakatira kasi kinuha nya ako at panganay namin ni hubby para mag-aral muna ako. Btw, 23 na po ako nanganak and I was already working when I met my then bf. Pinapatuloy lang ni mom ko pag aaral ko kasi reason nya, sayang daw. Pero I knew di nya afford, so ending, di rin natapos college ko and nasayang lang career ko. I went back to work after a year, from scratch. Almost 3 na panganay ko that time. My mom and granny had a big fight which stemmed from my lola finding my setup ridiculous kasi since nakatura ako kay mother, bawal dumalaw si then bf unless magbinigay ng sustento sa panganay namin. She didnt know na nakakapunta si bf when she's not around kasi my lola allows it. That was our setup for 3 yrs and since nag away mom and lola, si lola decided to move out and she wanted me to move out din so I can be with my bf and child. Yes, we moved out, nagstart kami sa wala ni bf para makarent ng apartment and buy second hand appliances and my lola lived with us. I cut off ties with my mom for a couple of months and we were free until she decided na guluhin si bf sa office where we both work and with good intentions na ipakitang maayos naman lagay namin, si bf decided to bring her sa place namin. All is well until mapalayas sa tinitirahan nya si mother kasi di nakakabayad and she had to twmporarily live with us. Temporarily. Days went by, month, years. Now 9 yrs and counting.
Nakabukod na sana kami pero she followed. She decided to stay without us really talking about her staying. She helps with house chores, pag alaga sa panganay, until I got preggy again and we decided to get married and yun nga super nega sya and di umattend pati lola ko di nya pinayagan pumunta sa province ni hubby to attend.
Years went by again and now nakabili na kami ni husband ng townhouse and soon we will need to move.
I'm not sure what to do with my mom. Sa years na nagstay sya dito sa amin, she always had something to say about my husband. Every little thing na pwedeng makita ng isang monster-in-law. She'll make faces kapag bad trip sya kay hubby, dadabugan nya, or even reprimand him kapag di pasado sa standard nya mga kilos ni husband. It's as though si husband ang nakikitira sa amin. So now, yes, di ko alam what to do with her. I know she wouldn't survive alone kasi hindi talaga sya financially wise. Always wrong decisions. And in case you're wondering, she doesn't have a husband kasi yung tatay ko niloko lang sya at may pamilya palang iba. Ganun ka-naive ang mom ko, na madaling maloko. So I know she wouldn't survive without my guidance. Baliktad noh?
Pero could do I allow her to stay with us sa house once we move in? She'll continue ruling our world. Kawawa husband ko sakanya and I even wonder pano nasisikmura ng hubby ko mga ganung eksena sa bahay. They get along most of the time, pero pagdating sa mga "mali" na gawa ng husband ko, never mangyayari na walang comment si mother.
Ayokong mamuhay ng ganun.
How do you tell your mother to stay away? Or move to a different house without hurting her feelings?
Again, I'm an only child. Her world revolves around me, but she doesn't seem to understand that I now have an entirely different world.

▪︎2023▪︎