Betrayal, Secrets and Lies (Werewolf)

Chapter 33

Nate's Point of View: 

The words leaving my mouth felt like a ticking time bomb ready to explode. My hands started shaking and I couldn't help the guilt that encompassed my whole body at the secret I was finally sharing. I half expected Casper to stand up and leave me there, gravelling in my betrayal. I would have deserved it.

Instead, he just stared at me blankly, which felt almost worse in a way.

The silence seemed to stretch out between us. I stated fidgeting with my nails, just for something to do. Casper eventually stopped me, placing his had over mine and staring at me intensively. He didn't look mad, but he didn't exactly look happy either.

"... what?" He eventually said, the question felt like poison.

I swallowed thickly and gave him a smile, moving my hand away from his. "You're my mate... on my 18th birthday I found out it was you... I just... didn't want to tell you..."

More stunned silence seemed to occupy the space between us. For the first time in months I felt like the two of us were once again standing on opposite sides of a battle field. Of course, it was all my fault.

"You didn't want to tell me..." Casper repeated. I snuck a glance into his eyes and the betrayal and hurt that took home there struck a cord within me. I felt my heart fracturing into pieces at the knowledge that my own actions had hurt the person I was supposed to love most in the world.

"I'm sorry." I said softly. "I wanted to tell you but I couldn't..."

"Why not?" Casper asked apprehensively. He crossed his arms and lowered his eyes at me. I couldn't detect a trace of sympathy in his eyes as he looked at me the way he used to, back before I started treating him better. "Were you embarrassed of me or something? couldn't take the hit to your ego that the person you hated most in the world was your soulmate? Did it tarnish your life's work to know that all those years you had been picking on me you had been destroying the person you were supposed to love?"

I had no answers to those questions. I knew I deserved the biting tone in his voice but it didn't make it hurt any less. "I'm sorry." I repeated again softly. "This wasn't about you. I promise. It was about me."

Casper gave a cold laugh, before standing up and looking pointedly in the opposite direction. "I honestly should have known." He said bitterly. "You would never have suddenly started being nice to me because you realised how much of an idiot you were being. No. There had to be something in it for you. If I wasn't your mate, you would have continued treating me like shit. You are a horrible person Nate... don't talk to me."

I watched as he spun on his heel and walked away.

I scrambled up and tried to follow after him. "Casper please... I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to-"

"Leave me alone!" he spun back to glare at me and the glare he gave me seemed to shake my whole body as I was stunned into silence. He had never looked at me with so much hatred in his gaze, even when we were playing the part of enemies. I swallowed, standing there watching as he walked away from me. From us. His words felt like daggers being stabbed through my heart, over and over again with no relief as my eyes started to water at the realisation that I might have just lost my mate, and it was all my fault.

I sat there pondering in my self-pity for what felt like hours. Rain started to eventually fall from the sky and I let it wash over my skin, hoping somehow it could clean me of all the terrible things I'd done the past few months. My actions had been terrible, but the feelings had been real. I was undeniably in love with him. I wasn't sure if I would ever be able to tell him.