Betrayal, Secrets and Lies (Werewolf)

Chapter 38

Nate's P.O.V: 

As I walked through the school hallways, I felt a vulnerable sense of naked-ness. The morning's activities kept playing through my mind on loop like a fever dream I was both enamoured and ashamed by. The high of this morning was still prickling my skin like small little needles trying to claw their way into my body. I could feel the heat of Casper's skin on mine, like a flame burning a permanent mark on my body. I could feel Casper's eyes pulling in my soul, forcing it to obey his every command and I could hear his voice, stronger than I was used to, forcing me to feel things that plunged my heart into new depths, pumping it full of new life. I had truly enjoyed the activities of the morning and but I couldn't help but feel an ever present shame at the picture of what I assumed I had looked. I hated to imagine myself begging on the floor for my mate like a whimpering, pleading, desperate omega. I felt my face burn scarlet as the memory imprinted itself into my brain.

I was raised to be a leader and when I thought about a relationship with my mate, I had always pictured me as the one in control. I pictured Casper withering below me with tears in his eyes as he called my name. I did not imagine myself being the one forced to submit myself to my mate's desires and wants, compelled by his words, feeling out of control of my own body and actions.

I had avoided making eye contact with Casper for the whole of our first period together. I was sure that he felt concerned. In fact, I could feel his concern for me radiating strongly through our bond but I refused to acknowledge it or do anything to remedy it. Instead, I practically ran out of the classroom as soon as that first class had ended, refusing to look at Casper or my friends on the way out.

As I now walked through the hallway alone I heard someone calling my name and couldn't help but groan as Loki and Chloe caught up to me. Chloe seemed mildly concerned but Loki just beamed at me and gave me a suggestive smile. "So Nate... you going to tell me what happened this morning? You look thoroughly defiled." He bumped my shoulder with his wearing a teasing grin and I shot Chloe a look which I hope conveyed 'Save me'. I did not want to go into this with Loki right now.

"Loki, get me a bottle of water. I want it iced. From the coffee shop down near the pack lands near my house. Okay?" Chloe looked at Loki pointedly, daring him to refuse her request. Loki raised an eyebrow at Chloe.

"I- what? Why don't you just go to the cafeteria?" Loki gave Chloe a puzzled look.

"Loki, I asked you to do something for me?" Chloe reprimanded, staring Loki down with her icy eyes and determined frown until he groaned and rolled his eyes.

"Of course your highness. Anything you want your highness. Would you also like some food with that? Maybe some fries with the finest salt freshly imported from-"

"Loki. Leave." Chloe said sharply and I looked at Loki in mild amusement as he muttered and mocked Chloe under his breath before poking his tongue out at Chloe and leaving to fulfil her wish.

After Loki had walked out of sight, I hesitantly looked at Chloe who scrutinised me closely, crossing her arms deep in thought. "What happened this morning Nate?" Chloe asked.

"What do you mean?" I asked her, faking ignorance as Chloe rolled her eyes at me with exasperation.

"How many times do I have to tell you I'm not an idiot." Chloe asked raising an eyebrow at me. "You walked into the classroom late with Casper, both of you looking like you've just fucked; which I assume everyone in the room was probably thinking no offence... and then you just avoid us all? Did he fuck you and hurt your pride or something? Because you need to understand that-"

"He didn't fuck me!" The words came out forcibly and snappish. A few people nearby shot us confused looks and I blushed only then realising how loud I had been talking. "We- we did stuff but he didn't fuck me." I stated. I stared at Chloe and she gave me a quizzical look.