fox - r.lupin

- c h a p t e r - f i f t y-f i v e -

edited.

tw: brief self-harm description

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 It was the smell of freshly made tea that slightly pulled her from the hazy state of sleep. Then, the gentle touch of someone stroking her cheek brought her back to the land of the living.

The colours of the setting sun streamed through the open windows, casting a glow over the whole room as the handmade curtains fluttered in the spring breeze.

She recognized it as Remus's bedroom–the walls covered in framed pictures, a scatter of drawings, and a couple of posters.

Violet hadn't even come to the realisation of whose hand gently coaxed her away until she heard his voice.

"Morning, Lottie..."

She uncurled her face from her hands tucked into her chest–as that is how she slept most of the time unless she had a stuffed animal to hold.

Violet blinked a couple of times–letting her eyes adjust entirely as she rolled over–her auburn hair catching on her lashes as she stared at the boy silhouetted by sunlight–murmuring, "I'm back, aren't I?"

Remus's lips twitched up–his jade eyes swimming with relief, "Thank Merlin, yes..."

That was all she needed to hear before she pushed herself up–launching herself at him.

She wrapped her arms around his neck–pulling him down with her, where she just curled up next to him–just holding him to make sure this wasn't a dream or an illusion.

But it wasn't.

The aroma of pine, books, dried roses, and hot chocolate fell over her like a warm blanket as Violet felt sobs rising up her chest and pushing themselves out of her mouth–causing heavy shaking from her body. It felt like months of suppressed anxiety was exploding from every part of her soul.

"Are we safe?" She whispered–trying to calm down the shaking.

He kissed her temple, his arms pulling her closer, "Yes, we're safe. Dumbledore has posted multiple witches and wizards around the house and town for your safety."

She could barely choke out, "Oh, Remus..."

His arms tightened further around her as she clung to his jumper–her limbs convulsing as tears fell in rivulets down her face.

Violet did not speak–nor did Remus–for a long while. They just lay in the bed, arms around one another and safe.

But Violet wanted to speak.

She wanted to talk.

But to be honest, she wasn't sure what to say–or where to begin.

She had nearly been gone for a year, had taken on a new identity–helped with horrible, horrible deeds. All under the orders of Dumbledore, and on top of all of that–she was now scarred for life after seeing an in-person attack on Muggles just trying to live their everyday lives.

The lifeless face of the young woman was enough to make her want to tear her skin off.

So what was Violet supposed to say?

She just didn't know.

So she didn't say anything.

After nearly an hour of silence, Violet finally got the courage to whisper, "He wanted me to kill Howard..."