My Brother's Girlfriend || FreenBecky (GG)

Chapter 54

FREEN'S DIARY

Book about my cold rebecca.

Summer 2020.

This is the start of this book. The start where i found something unfamiliar towards you. When the first time you step out from the door's car that day, i found something so attractive about you. I somehow missing you because i could not meet you past summers. But here i am right now, looking onto how cold you are acting to me.

You're so cold yet so tempting. You're just like a drugs that can make me overdose but also could make me stay alive. Its you and You're still gorgeous as before. You're also growing so well as one of the daughter from Armstrong family. A family that i knew so well.

and on the first night, i found you smoking. Did you have too much problems until it could make you smoking? Did you smoking to relieve your stress? Oh god, i wish i could ask this straight and personally towards you. And i wish i could kiss that lips, shutting you up from smoking. I hate it.

And i hate it more knowing you kiss another woman that night at the party.

I got your gift during our exchange gifts. I got your gift! I can't even describe how happy i am at the moment. But that happiness fly away when you said you forgot to bought your gift. Is it only a excuse rebecca? Are you that hate towards me? Why am i getting sad over this when you clearly have nothing towards me? Why?

Everythings that you did to me everyday showing how cold you are to me. Sometimes, i know you are staring to me, but why you didn't approach me, talking to me, and playing with me just like how close we are as a family? Yes, that day i was thinking like that. But right now, i got it.

I understand it more.

That I dont want to be your family. I want to be someone else.

You know how happy i am when you're buying me the blueberry pie that day? Gosh, i wish i could keep that pie forever. Why you're acting like you dont care when you actually cares?

And those kiss. Those kiss when you kiss me for the first time that night. I wish those kiss lasted for a long time. I wish that kiss accompanying me everynight, every morning and every day. I wish that rebecca. I wish its you who i am seeing everyday and every seconds i open my eyes. Why? Why i have this strong feelings towards you when all you did is pushing me away?

I still remember how im going to a date with another man, expecting that i could fall for someone else but the only thing i did was.... remembering you again and again. I lied to myself. I lied, saying that i will move forward and forget about you, but its totally wrong. I could not forget about you even only for a second.

Tsk. Funny right? Why are you attracting me as if you're a magnet to my steel.

and the night with richie, it feels so right yet so wrong. Why my mind betraying me? My heart was beating for you, but my mind keep telling me to be with richie. Isn't this will be nice if you tell me quickly that you like me rebecca? Please. I need that now so that my mind lose at that moment and follow you instead. Why are you late?

I have love you for thousand years rebecca. Always.

And i will still love you.

I know nothing about you. The day when i going out for dates with richie, laughing and smiling to others... i could see how you're staring to me as if your eyes was telling me something. Something that surely so hard and complicated.

But you still keep silent and keep it up inside you.

I wish i could be the one that you're telling everythings to, rebecca. I wish i could be the ears to your stories, problems, and whimpers. I wish i could be your shoulder when you're tired and want to lean for. I envy of your hands, clothes, and hairs. They could be with you forever and be the witness of everythings that happened to you. But im not.

I envy them. And i wish i were in your heart.

The day when you're asking me to be your soccer team, gosh, that's my wish. I wish to have you asking me personally to join your team. But, knowing that you did all of this because auntie ask you to do, that broke my heart. I was so upset. You did that not because you want to. But because auntie.

And after all, this is a perfect summer. Enjoying the summer with you is always my favourite, rebecca. Seeing you is my thing. My favourite. And be with you is my wish. This summer, everythings captured perfectly.

But, that day. The last day that become a nightmare to all of us. I hate it knowing you're struggling alone all this time, this broke my heart. So bad. I hate it rebecca. I hate you. I hate you for not telling me. Why did you like keeping all this things inside yourself? I have a rights to know about auntie too. I have! But you didn't tell to all of us. Why rebecca?

Why you need to struggling alone?

I hate it knowing that im not there for you. I hate it knowing you dont have any shoulder to lean for. And all the things you do is silent. Im here rebecca. Im here for you. Didn't you see me? Im here. Always. I swear. Hug me when you want, call me when you need, and be with me as long as you want. Im always with you, rebecca.

The only things you need to do is, stares to me. And i will understand. Im yours at the first place.