My princess to the Black Widow Mafia

Chapter 153. Day 15

Aria POV
I turned on my side looking at the small clock on my nightstand that read 7:37 a.m in red. I haven't slept at all since I've came to this house. The most I've slept before noticing I fell asleep was 30 minutes.

I wouldn't allow myself to sleep I was torturing myself but I would rather not sleep then wake up from a nightmare and not have Caleb beside me to comfort me until I calmed down.

I was scared of falling asleep alone in this big room that wasn't even my home. Ace would try to come lay with me and help me fall asleep but I refused to fall asleep because of my fear of it.

I couldn't do it without Caleb he was the only one I felt safe falling asleep with because he knew how to comfort and distract me from my bad nightmares.

I'm sure Ace would know how to calm me down too because he watched Caleb and learned a lot from him but it was hard enough for me to let him see me so emotional and mentally exhausted.

He was helping me a lot I didn't want to overwhelm him with more of my problems. Not only was I suffering and having a hard time being away from Caleb.

Ace and his siblings were all having a hard time with being away from their dad. I was trying really hard to be there for them and trying to stay strong for them but it's like each day that went by was getting harder and harder.

My heart felt heavy and I felt like I was being the most horrible mother ever to my kids especially Ace because he had to see me breaking down and being so weak when I'm suppose to be strong for him and his siblings.

I was trying I really was but it was hard for me because all my heart wanted was to be in their father's arms right now and every single day for the rest of my life.

That's all I wanted but it seemed like i was asking for too much because the universe was doing everything in its power to keep us apart. I missed him so much.

All my life I dreamed of having someone to love me like Caleb did and I had it I was locked in with him forever and I wanted to be despite how mean and dangerous he was I was happily locked in with him.

I would gladly allow him to take my life if I ever hurt him or did anything to him because that man gave me everything I dreamed of having.

From having no kind of love, family, or anything he helped me create my own family, showed me how I was suppose to be loved and cared for without a problem or hesitation.

I never had to ask him for anything he already knew what I needed and wanted that was something that was rare to have.

His love wasn't normal it was dark, toxic, deadly, scary, and mean but he damn sure knew how to handle me with care and treat me like a princess when needed and how I craved to be treated.

He could kill me at any moment I knew that very well and he told me a few times how much he would like to hurt me and that scared me half to death.

Yet he disciplined himself from hurting me and killing me. Everyone had their issues and one of Caleb's biggest issues was accepting that I wasn't going to hurt him like his mother did and I understood that about him more than anything.

Caleb could be nice when he wanted to but his guard was always up and he was born into being mean, toxic, and psychotic.

If you asked me I loved his dark side more I didn't want him being nice to anyone especially another woman. I would literally go feral if I saw or heard him being nice to another woman.

He was all mine. I wasn't sharing I never even liked sharing anything that was mine. He was all I wanted and needed I didn't need sleep, food, or anything I just needed and wanted him.