Fighting for our Future {TWD Daryl Dixon}

43: Lean On Me

The last few weeks have been rough. Especially for Sasha. We as a group decided that it was a good idea to follow Noah home after hearing all about his community. We were hoping that it could be a safe place for us. Noah said they had fences, people, protection, but when our group got there it wasn't the sound of chatter filling the streets. Instead it was the sound of the moans and groans from the dead. Noah's home was gone.

I said the last few weeks have been rough for Sasha, and there is a reason for that. When some of our group went to bring Noah home, Tyreese got bit. Dad and the crew that went, cut off Tyreese's arm in hopes that he'd make it out alive. He didn't. Sasha had to bury both her boyfriend and her brother in just a few weeks.

She is not holding up well, and I honestly don't expect her to. I'm still not okay after what happened with T-Dog. So how can I expect her to be okay after the loss of Bob and Tyreese? I can't.

She's dealing with her grief completely different than I am. For the most part, I'm fine. Some days are harder than others. Most nights I still can't sleep. Daryl, Dad, Glenn, Maggie, and Seb have been waking me up from my nightly terrors, and comforting me in shifts. I swear they've made a schedule at this point to see who's on 'Nora duty'.

Sasha has been dealing with her grief, with anger. She's been pusing all of us away. Either by yelling at us or ignoring us. We all want to help her. To let her know that even though Bob and Tyreese are gone, she still has a family. Us.

Speaking of people acting differently, Beth hasn't been her normal self either. At the prison, she was always so happy, so positive. Well as much as you can be in this horrible world. But now she's neither. I know she's happy that we got her and Soph out of that hospital, but she won't open up about anything that happened there. I can tell something happened though. And so can Maggie.

Daryl's been acting strange too. He keeps going off into the woods alone to hunt and look for water. In the last week, he hasn't found much. I know there's another reason why he's always leaving. I can feel his walls going back up, and I need to tear them down again. I don't want him to have to hide from me. We're in this together.

I should probably mention that we lost the church, so after traveling to Noah's community we had nowhere else to go. So now we are on the road walking to DC, after our vehicles ran out of fuel. Eugene may have lied about a cure, but he thought of DC for a reason. Now we're trying to make it there.

It's been terrible living on the road. We barely eat, we've almost ran out of water. We need something soon, or else we're not going to make it.

It's even harder living on the road while being pregnant. Right now I feel like I'm the weakest out of all of us, and that's a feeling that I absolutely hate. I feel like a burden at this point. My family won't even let me carry my own bag. The only things they're allowing me to carry is my sword and a gun, so that I'm not overloaded with weight.

I'll make it through this. My baby will make it through this. Lori survived months on the road while she was pregnant with Judith. I can do it too.

I'm officially showing now. I have a tiny bump. I don't know if that's because of how far along I am, or if it's from how skinny I've become. Probably a mixture of both.

Dad and Daryl are at the front while we continue to walk. I'm in the middle of the group next to Glenn, Maggie, and Seb. Sophia is right behind Daryl. She's also worried about him. She can tell something is going on with him, so she hasn't been wanting to leave his side. 

We have a smallish herd forming behind us, and I suggested we take them out. Everybody ignored that idea. Well everyone besides Sasha that is. She thinks we should just take them out as well.