Stray Kids POVs (collection)

Crush on Chan - Part 2

You jump off the couch as soon as you hear the door going open. Your heart runs faster, you feel your hands trembling nervously.

The boys are not as loud as usually, but they seem to awake when they spot you and the food you make.

You are greeted with hugs from them and thankful words about the food before they gather around the table.

Chan is the last one entering the room. You eye him, his tired looking face. And how he meets your gaze for a second, looking at you nearly softly, but then avoids you again.

You want to catch him, when you see him rushing to his room without a word. It hurts you that he hasn't even greeted you properly.

You follow him a few steps until you lose your courage.

"You should talk to him." Felix lays a hand on your shoulder. "You two have to clarify this situation before you are both unlucky."

"I know." You reply, feeling even more worried about this whole situation. "I want to, but I don't want to pressurize him. He avoids me since he heard it."

"Maybe you shouldn't have lied."

You shrug, even though his voice doesn't sound taunting, just thoughtful. "Maybe you shouldn't have asked me such things out of nowhere."

You both look at each other, meeting the others guilty face with your words. "Sorry" You both say at the same time, smiling understanding.

"Okay" You turn around again, facing the way to Chans room. "Wish me luck."

"You don't need some, believe me." He chuckles and you hurry to the room before you can think again. And then you knock, waiting for a reply to open the door. Just to be met with Chan, who opens the door and stare down to you, obviously surprised.

"We need to talk." You start, not having it to let the nervousness win and break out into stutter.

"What do you mean?" He maintains a neutral face expression, nothing compared to the smiles you know from him. "I'm fine."

"No." You get closer to him, until he backs off and you are able to close the door behind you. You cross your arms in front of your chest. "We are not fine and we need to talk about it."

"I don't know what you mean."

You feel a little furious that he stays stubborn. "You know exactly what I mean. I want to talk about the conversation I had with Felix and Jisung a while ago. You have heard my last words. Remember?"

Now he is the one who crosses his arms. "It wasn't meant for my ears. You can meet up with whoever you want, it isn't my job to judge that."

You blink surprised by his words, worried that you have misinterpreted his behavior. "Does that mean, you don't care?"

"I shouldn't, right?" You look up, but he already stares down and you can't recognize his expression.

"You should." You say and pause a moment to gather you, to find some courage to finally tell him about your feelings. "I was panicking when they asked me this suddenly. It wasn't my intention to lie, but I have done it before I could think twice. And I haven't noticed that you have heard me."
"What do you want to say?" He sounds curios with your words, but you don't get yourself to look at him again. You feel nervous and embarrassed and if he wouldn't feel the same, you definitely don't want to see his face with a rejection.

"I like you since a long time." It breaks out of you, your heart racing in your chest. "And I like you very much, much more than simply friendship. And when Felix asked me about my crush, he already knows it was you. I was just panicking to embarrass myself with my feelings if you wouldn't feel the same."

It is silent after your words and when you carefully look up at him, he looks surprised, his lips a little parted, speechless.

"B-But I can totally understand if you don't feel the same!" You hurry to say when he stays silent, what feels like a rejection. "Just forget what I have said! I will get over it, just forget it!"
You turn around, feeling your face burning, your heart a little breaking when he remains silent.

You just want to leave the room as fast as possible. When you reach for the doorknob, he finally remembers to move.
He grabs your arm and turn you to him, wanting you to face him again. When you keep avoiding his gaze, totally embarrassed, he carefully cups your cheeks. Softly, he tilts your head until your eyes meet his again.

"Just to be on the safe side." He whispers, his voice a little husky, and you feel a shiver running down your spine. "You have lied to Felix and Han? About the guy, you like, that we wouldn't know?"

You simply nod, everything in you tensed about what he is doing next.

"And you have a crush...on me?"

You nod again, not trusting your own voice. He stares at you for a moment, then he wraps his arms around you and pulls you closer into a big hug.

"God, I can't say what feels more exhausting." He sighs and you feel his breath on you neck. "To avoid you for the last days before I could say or do something to ruin our friendship, or to pretend I would just see you as a friend, so I would at least have a friendship with you and can try to get rid of these feelings."

You try to understand his words, your heart skips a beat when you finally catch it. "Does that mean you like me too?"

He pulls back a little at your whispered words. He looks at you with the softest, loveliest expression you have ever seen on his face. "This means that I love you."

You can't stop the bright smile that approach at your lips, feeling relieved and happy with his words, feeling like your heart couldn't beat any faster. And like you couldn't love him more as you already did.

He leans closer again, his forehead against your, cupping your face again.

"I know we aren't even really dating, but I have waited pretty long for this, so maybe could I ki-"

You interrupt him, closing the little gap between you two, pressing your lips at his. It's just a short kiss, but you feel your stomach flip and your knees feeling awkwardly weak.

You smile at each other, his thumbs stroking your cheeks, you slowly wrapping your arms around his waist.

"We have a day off tomorrow, how about going on our first date?"

You smile with his question, feeling an unbelievable luck in you. "How about we snatch some of the snacks and do a movie night here?"

He smiles brighter and kiss you again. You feel the butterflies in your stomach, the pure excitement and joy about this development.

"Your idea sounds better." He whispers, but instead of letting go of you, he just pulls you a close as possible. "Just give me a minute to finally enjoy this."