Stray Kids POVs (collection)

scratches - Changbin (1)

It still feels awkward to enter the apartment you now share with Changbin. You were here before, once. It was just some weeks ago, but it feels like an eternity due to the things that has happened in since then. It feels like a different life, compared to your situation now.

You've married Seo Changbin a few weeks ago, after meeting him like three times. You've talked to him less than an hour when you add it all up. It was mostly these awkward small talks. When you know you have to get along because you are going to spend a lot of time together, but you both knows you wouldn't talk in another situation. You know he wouldn't speak to you if he would have met you earlier somewhere. And you know, you maybe would have stared at him like a creep, but you would have been way too shy to talk to him.

But now you had to get along because both your parents literally forced you to get along. Such an old-fashioned way to get married – with a contract to merge their companies.

You didn't have a chance to avoid this whole thing, you have tried everything you could. You don't know how they got Changbin to do it. Because he has talked to you even less than before since the big day. He has watched quietly how the moving company has got all your stuff here and how you started to spread it out in the guest room, your new bedroom. It was the first time you had talked to him first, with a firm steady voice – to make clear, you will not share a bed with him as long as this marriage is just a business relationship. He was obviously surprised by your words, eyed you with raised eyebrows before agreed. And this was it.

You have seen each other quit often after you moved in, but never said more than a polite greeting to each other. Somehow your working times doesn't fit good with his and you can't lie, you're not sad about seeing him just shortly, one of you always in the rush to leave the apartment or the same room. What's the point if you're both at home and avoid each other?

So, you work overtime as a volunteer at the animal shelter, and he spends his time at his workspace or the gym. You know the latter for sure, because you somehow always manage to leave your room at the same moment he comes home, still sweaty and dressed in some sportswear or casual clothes, heading to the bathroom. And you can't lie again, you watch him out of the corner of your eyes or behind his back. Well, how could you not?

It's almost the same this evening. You leave the kitchen, a bottle of water in your hand, and want to go back to the room, as the entrance door opens. The difference this time are the voices. They rush through the hallway and enter the living room before you have a chance to escape to your room. You freeze on your spot after turning around to them. You're not fully sure that you've seen the three guys on your wedding, but to be honest, you were highly nervous this day, so there could be a bear bringing your rings and you could have forgotten about it.

"Ah, your significant other?" One of them notices you first, pointing at you and raises his eyebrows while eyeing you curious, grinning lightly.

You shrug a bit. Great first impression, in a wide T-shirt and long pajama bottoms, your hair already messy from lying in your bed the last hour, your feet in some pink fuzzy slippers.

"If you want to call her this, Chan." Changbin mumbles and you really try to not get his words the wrong way. Is there a right way to understand his words?

"How would you call her?" Chan asks again, his grin fades away slowly and he looks between you and your husband. He obviously tries to read the mood between you two. Good luck with that.

"Jagiya?" One of the others says in a light chant, obviously not getting the hint that it's a bit complicated between you two. "Yeobo? Honey?"

"By her name." Changbin says harshly, rolls his eyes and the chant stops suddenly.

You notice the glances the three exchanges. Changbin shrugs his shoulders and eyes you a briefly moment, but you have yourself under control. You are hurt by his tone, but you're used to get short, harsh answers. Cheers to your parents, great preparation for this marriage. Should feel more like home to be here, right? Most of the time alone, no one to talk to. So, he doesn't get a reaction out of you by this, you're used to it.

"Hyung." The chanting boy puts an arm around Changbin, shaking him lightly. "Why are you this mean?"

"That was not..." Changbin mumbles, eyeing his friends and their questioningly raised eyebrows, looking back to you, his cheeks a bit red, suddenly an expression of concern on his face. "It was not meant as an insult. We just don't use pet names."

"He's right." You say and shrug your shoulders. How could one of you use pet names if you weren't talking more than three words a day to each other?

"Okay." The third guy says slowly, shaking his head in slight incomprehension. "Noted. So, are you staying here with us? We want to order some food, what do you want?"

You are surprised. You eat alone. Always have, actually.

"Minho." Changbin mumbles warningly.

"I've already eaten." You reply. You don't know how to feel – relieved to get out of this uncomfortable situation or regretful to have an excuse instead of taking the chance to get to know them better, get to know Changbin better. But it's obvious for you that you're unwelcome, at least from Changbin. "Sorry. I will stay in my room, bye."

And with that you turn around, basically rushing to your room.

"Hyung." You can hear behind you, quietly, but loud enough before you can close your door. "Have you noticed the huge band-aid on her arm?"

"Yes."

"Do you know what happens?" The first one sounds surprisingly worried. "I mean, because of the size of the band-aid."

"How could I, Jisung?" You should really close the door. It's not right to listen to their conversation, even though it's about you. "I wouldn't get an answer, even if I ask."

"Have you tried to ask?" No, he didn't. Not yesterday, when you came home from the animal shelter, after vaccinating the really unhappy cat that has sharpened its claws on your arm. Not once when you've come home with scratches.

You love your work as a veterinarian and you love to work in the animal shelter, but you tend to forget how scratchy some patients are.

"No." Changbins voice is small, and you wish you could see his face to confirm the sound of regret in his tone.

"And you're surprised that you two don't get along?" It's the third guy again, Minho if you remember right.

"Well, I've tried it. But you have noticed it, right? I don't get any reaction, any emotion out of her. I've hardly seen her smile since I've known her."

"Maybe she's just not the type to show it often. Some people have problems to be this open towards others."

"Or you should talk more with her. You don't know much about her, right? Poke around a bit, maybe that will loosen her up."

It's Jisung again. You're not sure whether you like his idea or not.

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but Jisung is right. As weird as he formulated it."

The conversation about you stops suddenly with a complaining Jisung and a multi-voice laughter, accompanied by some mocking about "Poke around" and "loosen up". You can't really understand the rest, so you finally close your door quietly.

You feel a bit nervous about their conversation. You would like to get along with Changbin – and his friends, they seem to be funny and open-minded – but you're unsure that you can do it. It's hard to be open with your feelings, you can't really talk about them or express them. Maybe you should try it more, if Changbin really decide to 'poke around a bit'.