Stray Kids POVs (collection)

Honesty - Jeongin (3)

It is already late at night when you hear Jeongin coming home. You sit on the couch, a book in your hands, waiting for him. You can't stop thinking about the hints your brother has made. But he hasn't told you anything more, letting your imagination going wild.

"Damn it" Jeongin makes a little jump when he sees you sitting there, the floor lamp next to the couch the only source of light in the living room. "You nearly scared the life out of me. Why are you still up so late?"

You close the book and stand up. "Sorry. I was hoping we could talk."

You manage to hold the eye contact with him before shakes his head. "I need to pack the last few things. I've told you that we are flying to Japan for a shoot, remember?"

Now that he reminds you of it again, you remember it too. What a perfect timing, really. He eyes you up and down, his face slightly irritated. "It is important. Can we talk while you pack?"

He shrugs his shoulders and nod hesitantly. You follow him to the bedroom where he put his suitcase on the bed. You sit down next to it and watch him for a moment.

He opens his side of the wardrobe, grabs some shirts and turns around to you. "Start telling the important things. I'm all ears."

It feels awkward again to meet his now cold acting appearance. You know, a few months ago, he would sit down next to you, listening with all his attention. Not like this, not while he is actually doing something different.

"I have talked with my brother today." You start and he stops in his motions over the suitcase for a second. He eyes you carefully, lightly curious, then turns around and steps back to the wardrobe. He makes an understanding sound, and you continue to speak, trying to remember the words you have practically rehearsed. "We have clarified things. He has told me, why you both hasn't spoken to me since this dinner a few months ago. You know, where our parents finally revealed their plans."

"Okay." Jeongin sounds neutral, but you are sure, you can see some doubts in his expression, while he throw something into the suitcase.

"And I think I should explain the same thing to you." He finally turns around, leaning with his back against the wardrobe. His face is now curious while he crosses his arms in front of his chest.

"My parents have told me on the day of the dinner about this marriage. Maybe two hours before you came. I have tried to call you and my brother, but you both haven't even answered my messages. I haven't had a chance to tell you about it before. And I haven't said anything to the marriage during the dinner because I had already said everything I could to them before."

You bite your lip nervously, searching for the next words, but have the feeling you have already said everything important and would now just babble nonsense. He eyes you attentively, looking for something in your face that shows him if it's the truth or not. You withstand his gaze, your heart pounding faster with each second.

"Okay" He grabs some other stuff from his nightstand and pack it into the suitcase. Then he closes it, puts it on the floor and sits down on the free space. "I had the feeling that something was already off before that. You were awkward since a few weeks. That's why I thought you had known it for a while."

"No." You remember the weeks before good. You have thought you should get rid of these feelings and instinctively taken some distance to him. "It was not because I have known it. If they had told me earlier, I would have revealed it to you long ago."

"So they surprised you the same they did me that day?"

"Yes."

"And if I had answered your calls or read your messages, would you have told me everything before dinner?"

"Of course. That's why I've called you so often."

He sighs and suddenly bury his hands in his hair, making a mess out of it. "You mean, we've both struggled the last few months just because I misinterpreted everything?"

"And because I haven't had the courage to talk about it with you."

You stare at each other for a moment before you both break out into laughing.

"We are really stupid sometimes." He mumbles and you giggle.

"Well, we should talk more and be honest to each other to prevent such problems in the future." You smile amused while he nods and hold out your hand to him.

"It's a deal." He takes your hand and shakes it lightly. "But I need to ask you something else."

"Go on." You look a moment longer at your hand because he still holds it. When you look up in his face, he is the nervous looking one now.

"What happened the weeks before? You have avoided me and didn't behave like you normally do."

You swallow hard and feel oddly caught off. "I...ehm...how-"

"Be honest to each other, remember?" He squeezes your hand and an amused smile appears on his face. "I can take it, no matter how bad it is."

"Well, hopefully not bad." You mumble low, but he hears you and leans closer to you, an asking and curious look on his face. You sigh deeply and gather all your courage, your heart beating excitedly. What is the worst that could happen? You are already married to him.

"To be honest, I've avoided you to stop feeling the way I felt about you." You take him off guard, you can see it clearly in his face.

"Wha-What do you mean exactly?"

"You are the best friend of my little brother. I'm older than you, not this much, but I mean, still older. Yeah, I know, we are friends too, but I thought it seems desperate. You know, the big sisteryou're your friend, who is in love with you. So I have take some distance from you, trying to stifle the feelings, so I could not impulsive confess my feelings or some other stupid things. I had no idea we would be married. I'm sorry if it hurt you."

He stares at you, totally surprised. You feel your cheeks redden with your confession and tilt your head, his gaze following your motion. "Jeongin? Are you okay?"

"Well, you take me completely off guard." He shakes his head to gather his thoughts. Then he looks at you, a wide smile appearing on his lips. "I could not really understand the other nonsense, but to be honest, I also stopped listening to you after you said you loved me."

You can't even ask him what he thinks about your confession, when he suddenly wraps his arms around you. He pulls you closer and buries his face in your hair.

"I hope, I haven't ruin it the last months." He mumbles and you feel his breath in your hair. "Because it would be very ironic. I've been in love with you for so long, not knowing about your feelings. And it would be ironic if you have lost your feelings because of the first months of our marriage. I mean, I couldn't have imagined that we would even marry before I could confess to you, but-"

"I still love you." You look up at him, your nervousness slowly turns into excitement and this fluttering feeling in your chest like before when you have looked at him. He smiles at you, this gorgeous happy smile of him, and you return it. He cups your face carefully, his thumbs slowly stroking your cheeks. It is the ringing of his phone that let you both flinch.

"I'll be picked up in any minute." He states, his tone now regretful and lightly upset.

"Have you packed everything? Or is something missing?" You ask, looking down to his suitcase, feeling upset yourself.

"Just one thing." He guides your look back up to him. "We are married since months now, but I haven't kissed you, except for the one at the altar. And before I regret it for the next days to not ask you – may I kiss you?"

You laugh and your cheeks get even redder. "Well, we are married, right? You could any time you want."

He chuckles lowly, before he leans to you and close the small gap between you two. His lips are soft and carefully, but he takes the time to kiss you properly until his phone rings again.