Stray Kids POVs (collection)

plans - Felix (2)

It takes some weeks and meets with the boys without anything changing on Felix' behavior. There were some rough times for you when he has ignored you and everything you say. And you really don't know why now.

You've placed a hint here and there, hoping Felix would listen to your conversations with the others at least, understanding that you could have an idea of his plan. But now you guess, this wasn't his plan. You never thought he could actually ignore someone like that. But his ability to keep going shows you what you were really afraid of.

He doesn't like you anymore, at least not enough for this marriage. Not even enough to speak with you about it. Maybe he hopes you will just go away if he ignores you long enough. And you wish you could. But you have this responsibility towards your parents, so before you could leave him, you must sort this marriage thing out with him.

"Don't make such a face." It's Minho, who leans down to be face to face with you, frowning.

"It's just my face." You reply, not knowing what kind of face you've pulled.

"No." He shakes his head, and the corner of his mouth goes down. "You look like this. It's sad. Don't look sad when you're here."

"Yeah, what should we think then?" Jisung pouts playfully. "As if you wouldn't like to be here."

You feel bad a bit, because you are here this often to get to know them too and you like to spend your free time with them in the meantime. But then Jisung grins knowingly that you fell for his pretended offended tone.

"Ahh, I've known it." He leans closer to ruffle through your hair, a habit that the boys have got into lately. "You like it here."

The entrance door slams shut loudly before you can answer. You turn around, Jisungs hand finally slipping out of your hair, and see Felix, Chan and Changbin entering the hallway, looking right into the living room.

You can't help but eye Felix. He wears some sweatpants, a hoodie and a beanie, and you really like to see him in casual clothes. He glances shortly at you, his eyes wandering over your now messy hair, that you now start to smooth almost hectic. God, can you be any more obvious how much you care about his opinion of you?

Minhos chuckle and Jisungs clearing his throat to suppress a knowingly laugh is answer enough – no, it can't be any more obvious for others. Your cheeks redden instantly, and you stop to tidy your hair as Felix frowns, looking at Jisung, before he shakes his head and wordlessly goes to the corridor to enter his room, closing the door loudly.

"Awkward timing to come home." Changbin gives you and Jisung a suspicious look. "Why are you so close?"

Jisung throws his arm over your shoulders and shakes you lightly. You know it's a friendly gesture to snap you out of your thoughts, you know that. And the other boys too, because Minho chuckles and Changbin rolls his eyes.

"You shouldn't overdo it." Changbin says with a sigh.

Chan points to the direction of Felix' room and gives you a reassuring smile. "I will talk to him."

"What have we done?" Minho tilts his head, inspecting scene of you and Jisung, and shrugs his shoulders. "We are just friends. Would he act normal, he would like the fact that we get along."

"Yeah, but you don't have to provoke him like that." Changbin sits down on the couch too and looks at Jisung. "I thought you didn't think much of the plan."

"I don't like the plan. But why can't we be friends even if Felix doesn't like it?"

You like the thought to be friends with them, you really like them. But what is the point if it doesn't spur Felix on to finally talk to you?

"Ohh, don't look sad again." Minho sighs heavily and Jisung takes his arm off of you. "Just hold on a little longer. He will talk about his problem, and we can sort it out."

"Well, he should hurry. The longer we wait, the more my grandparents believe that this marriage can work." You stand up and take a deep breath. "Maybe I should try it again to talk with him."

"Yes, this stubbornness is great." Minho grins optimistic at you and holds a thumb up. "Stay persistent and don't allow him to refuse you."

You roll your eyes, just because he has said this every time you wanted to speak to Felix.

You decide to don't reply and just make your way to the corridor.

"I don't get it, Lix." You hear Chan's voice through the slightly opened door.

"You don't have to." Felix sounds tired and down, and you feel worried about him instantly.

"But why don't you talk about it? You two can't solve this marriage thing without talking about it."

"It's a bad idea." Felix just mumbles this. "That would just make everything even more difficult."

"We all see this differently." You finally think about going back to the living room, knowing that this is not meant for your ears, but your legs won't move. Felix sounds unhappy and you really just want to hug him. Everything in you screams to open this door and hug him, like in your childhood if you actually had a fight or just because you both felt like it. You loved his hugs.

"Lix, you two should talk. Ignoring is not a solution. It's driving you both insane."

"No, it's fine."

"No, it's not." One of them sighs deeply. "Lix, I see how you look at her as soon as you enter a room and see her before you can act ignorant again. And how you feel when the others get closer to her. It's obvious."

"There's nothing." He suddenly sounds defensive and declining, and your heart clenches with his harsh words. "I don't look at her in any way. I just try to make it clear that I don't like her. We were friends, but this was a long time ago, and things have changed. She should try to convince her family instead of me. This marriage wouldn't work, how could it when I don't like her?"

You freeze for a moment, your eyes filling with tears. You swallow hard.

"Wow, Felix, calm down. Where did this come from?"

"I don't like her. You should all stop with your attempts to get us together. I don't like her, I don't want to marry her, I don't even want her in my life."

Your legs finally move, and you step back from the door, moving to the living room almost mechanically.

"He, what's the matter?" Changbin sees you first and he frowns as soon as he notices your watery eyes.

"Are you alright?" Minho asks too.

You shake your head and blink a few times, a poor attempt to banish the tears. It doesn't work and you turn around to go to the entrance door.

"Sorry, I need to go." You bring out the words without sobbing and count that as a success.

"No, what?" The boys get up to follow you, but you ignore them. You hurry to grab your shoes, jacket and your bag before you say a short goodbye to them, literally running out of the door.

You put your shoes and jacket on in the elevator, and then run out of the building. You feel dumb for trying to talk to Felix, trying to get close to him like you were years before. Have you hurt him somehow? Why is he so against you? What have you done to him?

You suddenly have to stop in your tracks, a hand on your shoulder pulling you back and turning you around, meeting worried, guilty eyes.