A promise to keep [Lando Norris]

72

Lando

Everything felt bleak.

I wanted to burst into tears, I wanted to hit something or someone. What the fuck did I do wrong in this world to deserve this?

There are so many bad people that do awful things, there are hundreds of people that have kids and treat them awfully. Yet here we are ready to give a baby everything and we lost her.

She was taken away before we even had a chance to give her anything.

I was doing all I could to stay strong, the entire car ride was silent. We didn't speak to one another because I didn't know what to say to her, I wasn't okay. She wasn't okay, how could I tell her everything would be fine when this was happening.

As I park the car I turn my body to look at her, Meg sat with her knees to her chest as her head lays on the top of her knees. Her face was turned away from me but I know she's been crying. I climb out the car and head to her side, as I open the door I finally see her reddened face.

My hand comes to her cheek as I touch her face she breaks down more. Her sobs were loud and I just wanted to take away all of her pain. I knew I had to be strong, I had to be the one to keep it together here.

"Come here baby" I pick her up and carry her towards the apartment.

Her head laid against my chest as she continued to cry. I was doing all I can to keep myself together here, I couldn't break down as well but this was killing me.

I felt a hole inside of me.

Once we get into the apartment I lay her body on the couch. I don't even bother walking away, instead I lay with her as she cuddles close to me. I could feel her sobs as she cried against my body. I just held her as I looked into space.

A tear escapes my eyes as it rolls down my cheek.

I hated everything.

In that moment I feel my phone buzz from my pocket. Everyone knew we had the first scan today, I'm sure they were going to be calling to hear the news. I really don't know if I could say it out loud. I can't sit there and tell someone we lost our baby.

I take my phone out and see it's Max.

Meg looks up at me with a look of worry across her face.

"Please I can't do it" she begs, I couldn't do it either but I would have too.

I nod before getting up and headed down the hall as I bring the phone to my ear.

"Hey" I speak softly, right away I can hear the happiness from the other end of the phone. I can hear P giggling and Max I just knew was excited to hear the news.

"So mate tell us!" He speaks with nothing but happiness in his voice. The same happiness I had in my body less than an hour ago, it had been ripped away from me.

As I walk down the hall I end up at the door of her nursery. I open the door and see all the baby things we had bought a little too early, the crib that was set up. There was teddies and clothes everywhere as well as baby books and a chair that Meg had been so excited to sit in and read to our little girl.

I bring my hand to my face as I wipe the tears that fell from my eyes. I think Max heard I was crying, the sniffles made it clear.

"Oh mate don't tell me" His tone changed completely. I could feel the sympathy from the other end of the line, I also could hear P in the background. She was saying something along the lines of 'fuck'.

"No heartbeat" Is all I am able to speak, my body leans against the door frame of the nursery. The nursery I wanted to bring my baby home too, now I have nothing at all.

"Lando I'm so sorry" Max speaks, it as an awkward situation because what do you even say to someone.

I still didn't know how to talk to the woman I loved most, the one person that was going through the same pain yet I couldn't even speak to her.

"How's Meg?"

"Fucked" I really couldn't even speak, I didn't know how to explain something I hadn't even processed yet.

It's strange because I never held her, I never got to see my baby but I felt like my entire world had crumbled around me. I had made so many plans in my head yet they would never happen, I would never get to see the woman I love with our little girl.

"Do you need anything at all?"

"I'll call you later"

I couldn't handle this not anymore, I just end the phone before sinking to the ground. I burst into tears, I had never felt a loss like this before. I knew I had to stay strong for Meg but right now I just needed to cry.

I needed to sob and just have a moment, then I could be strong for her but I had to get it all out of my system.

So I did, I sat there and cried for what felt like minutes but really it was hours. I had cried for hours on the floor, when I realised how long it had really been I stood up and walked to the living room. My eyes landed on Meg, she laid on the couch her eyes shut as she held the teddy we had bought for our little girl

She slept but I could see the tears that stained her cheeks.

I hated this cruel world, but I hated the fact that I knew she was hurting the most.

I walked over and cuddled close to her, I just needed my girl right now. I knew she needed me too, so I pull her body close to mine. I feel her begin to stir, she nuzzles close to my neck as I hear her cry a little.

"I'm sorry" She apologises to me, but this wasn't her fault.

Nothing was her fault.

"This is not your fault baby girl okay?"

That was the last thing I said before we both laid there and cried, we fell asleep in each other's arms with a hole between us both. Our souls had been damaged and we had lost the one thing we both wanted more than anything.

—————————————
ANYONE ELSE CRYING?

Lots of love
Zoe xoxo