A promise to keep [Lando Norris]

63

Meg

It was strange to be back in the paddock, the feeling around me was something I had waited to feel again, but now I was here it was weird.

My hand stayed locked with Lando's the entire time, I didn't want to let him go. I was so anxious about everything, being seen together I knew would be getting questioned. Not only from the press but also the other drivers, I mean I think all of them know how badly I hurt him.

I'm sure 95% of them hate me.

I had Lando back though and that is all that matters to me. Abu Dhabi was a beautiful country and I couldn't be happier than being back with Lando. After this race was the winter break, it was a few months of just the two of us. We had so many plans and god was I looking forward to every one of them.

It would be our first Christmas together in our new home. I could spend time with the man I cared about, I could also see my family with the love of my life without fear of them hating him.

I think my mother actually liked Lando more than me and Max.

The entire time we weren't together she was in my ear about how she thought I was stupid for letting such a man go. I didn't disagree with her but she really hated the fact I wasn't with him.

Like really hated it.

"Are you okay?" Lando asks me as prepare to get out of the car. I could already see the cameras that were everywhere.

There were fans and people knew I would most likely be here. I was ready to be shouted at asking what the fuck happened, we didn't post one another for six months then we just come back.

I get why people are confused.

We never confirmed any form of a break up. I mean we didn't need to, my relationship was no one else's business at all.

"Scared they'll still hate me"

Of course with the fact we didn't confirm the break up, I still got hate. I got a lot of hate, I think I got told to kill myself on a daily basis. I had been told over and over again I didn't deserve Lando.

In some way I took that's why it took me so long to take him back. I was fighting with my thoughts that we should be together while being told by every girl in my comment section that I don't deserve him. It's a bit of a mindfuck.

The hate still affected my life, I mean I guess that's why I starved a little bit. If I didn't eat I was too skinny but the second I was healthy I was too fat. I had rolls and I don't deserve to eat so I starved myself until I was told I was too skinny once again.

It was a cycle.

Men never got this, they didn't get told that every inch of their body should look a certain way. They weren't told that they weren't good enough for the love of their life. I was told all these things because I was a woman, I was in a woman in love with a man everyone wanted.

Therefore it was okay to be hated.

"Who cares what they say" Lando tells me as he holds my face.

"I do Lando, it hurts me a lot" I confess, we never spoke about the hate.

It never came to light but I do know that it hurt me a lot. I spent many nights alone in my bed crying, missing the man I loved and also being told by thousands of people online that I didn't deserve the love I craved.

Lando didn't understand it, I'm sure all his friends were the first to tell him that I was a bitch and he deserved better.

No matter if I broke up with him for a good reason, nothing would ever be good in the eyes of most people.

"I'm sorry" He speaks as his lips come to my forehead. "I will say something"

My head shoots up and looks at him dead in the eyes. This was all I had ever wanted, it would get a least some people off of my back. If they get told by the one man they think they're protecting it could help.

I don't know if it would, but anything was better than nothing.

"You will?" I ask him with my eyes filling with tears.

"I will" He kisses my lips softly. "Do you want to wait here for a minute?"

"No its okay"

Before I could wipe my own eyes Lando was doing it for me. I mean he was just perfect in every single way. I really don't know how I ever lived without this man in my life.

Once my face was clear from tears, Lando opens the car door and helps me out of the car. Right away the cameras flash, I squeeze his hand as we begin the walk to the paddock. I kept my face down as much as I could.

It wasn't too long of a walk until we were in the McLaren garage. The second we are inside Lando starts greeting people, the same people I had met not so long ago.

He still doesn't drop my hand, not once.

"Let's get some lunch okay?" He asks me, I take a deep breath knowing I had to eat. I just nod not saying anything. "Step by step baby" He presses his lips to my forehead.

~~~~

My hands over my face as I watch Lando in P3, I had felt anxious watching all the other races but being here made it worse. Knowing that anything could go wrong at any moment, it was terrifying.

"I'm so happy you're back" Lily speaks as she stands next to me. If there was anyone I was grateful for right now it was her. She always helped calm my nerves

"So am I" I tell her.

I watch as Lando holds his position until the end of the race. I was cheering knowing that this was his last race and he got podium. I was so fucking proud of this man.

I was proud to call him mine.

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HAPPY INTERNATIONAL WOMENS DAY

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