Its not over until the Mockingjay sings - F. Odair

Chapter 89

After the whole drama that had just taken place between Katniss and Peeta, Finnick was walking back to the part of the Hospital wing where Lea was. He was determined to spend every second next to her bed. There was no way in hell he would ever let her out of his sight again.

When he thought he had lost her, his whole world had fallen apart in just a second. She consumed his entire life and without her, life was not worth living.

He was hoping that all the things she went through in the Capitol, that all the things they did to her, were not going to affect the way she felt for him, just as what happened with Peeta and Katniss.

Finnick had seen for himself in the games how in love Peeta and Katniss were, and that love had turned into hatred from spending a few weeks in the capitol. Peeta had been fully brainwashed, hijaked and attacked Katniss as soon as he saw her. Now Finnick knew that Lea didn't hate him, and it was clear when they saw each other again that their love was still there. But still, he couldn't help but fear that something was going to go wrong, that their relationship was going to be different.

He didn't want to start imagining the things they did to her in the Capitol, he could already guess by seeing how skinny she was and by all the bruises on her body. He also didn't want to ask her, he didn't want her to relive her trauma. If she was ready to talk about it, she would, but he wasn't going to pressure her.

When he approached the other side of the hospital wing, he could already see her sleeping in one of the beds, an IV hooked to her arm. He had a wide smile on his face as soon as he saw her. He still couldn't believe he finally had her back. Having her back gave him a reason, a reason to keep fighting to take down the capitol and Snow once and for all so that they could finally live the life they have always dreamed of. But he was torn; on the one side, he wanted to be on the star squad, to help bring down the capitol but on the other side, he didn't want to risk his life. He didn't want to risk them not getting their happy ending after everything they had been through but he knew he was one of the best fighters there. He couldn't just stand by and do nothing. No, he had to fight, fight so that they could finally live the rest of their life in peace, get married, have children and grow old together. It was what he had been dreaming of ever since they were six years old.

But he knew Lea was not gonna like the idea of him being on the star squad. She was going to try to discourage him from doing it. He had to tell her as soon as possible because if he didn't, somebody else was going to tell her, and he couldn't let that happen because then hell was gonna break loose.

He finally reached her bed, but before he could get close he was stopped by one of the nurses.

"I'm sorry Mr. Odair, Ms. Miller cannot receive any visitors at this moment. Please make your way out of the hospital wing." The nurse told him while Finnick just had a confused look on his face.

He had seen her like an hour before, and she was all fine then, why the hell couldn't he spend time with her?

"I'm just going to sit next to her while she is sleeping. Please just let me be next to her." Finnick pleaded to the Nurse.

"I wish I could Mr. Odair, but I got strict obligations from the Doctor that I can't let anyone near her after the earlier Episode," The nurse said.

"The Earlier Episode? Wha- What do you mean by that? Did something happen while I was not here? Is she okay?" Finnick panicked.

"She is fine, She collapsed earlier while having a what seemed to be very emotional conversation with her dad. So she.. " The nurse said before Finnick interruped her

"Collapsed? She collapsed? Why wasn't I informed of this? She is my Fiance, I want to know everything that is going on with her. Everytime, her bloodpressure or temperature rises or drops or she falls, whatever happens I want to know it all," Finnick said to the Nurse, trying to keep his voice low and his temper under control.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Odair, I, uh, I am just a nurse. All I know is that I can't let anyone see her. But I, uh, will tell the doctor to inform you when anything happens," The nurse said, trying to calm Finnick down.

"Please ask the doctor to let me spend the night next to her. I won't do anything, I won't wake her, I promise. Can you please just ask?" Finnick pleaded to the Nurse.

The Nurse sighed before she said, "I will ask, but I can't make any promises here, Mr. Odair."

"I know. Thank you so much," Finnick said before the nurse walked off.

After some time that had felt like ages to Finnick, the nurse came back. But before she could say anything, Finnick ran up to her.

"Please, please tell me I can see her," Finnick asked.

"Yes, the doctor said you don't count and that you can see her whenever you want. But please keep it civil and don't wake her up," The nurse said

"Of course not. Thank you so much," Finnick said with a huge smile plastered on his face.

The nurse then walked off, leaving Finnick a chance to be alone with Lea.

Finnick then walked over to the side of Lea's bed where she was sound asleep with the IV hooked to her arm. He couldn't help but worry about her collapsing earlier. He wondered what she and her dad could have been discussing that had upset her so much. He just hoped it had nothing to do with him being on the star squad. He wanted to be able to tell her that himself. 

"Hey Baby, I love you so much, and I promise you I am never leaving you again," He said as he sat down in the chair next to her bed, taking her hand into his, rubbing small circles with his thumb over her hand. 

"I know you probably can't hear me right now, but I have to talk to you. You're the only person in the world I can truly open up to, the only one who really understands me. Honestly, I still can't believe you're lying here. It feels like I'm dreaming. These past few weeks without you have been absolute torture. Things in District 13 aren't great. President Coin is... demanding, to say the least. But now that you're here, I know it'll be easier to bear. And this might surprise you, but while you've been gone, Katniss and I actually became good friends. I know, crazy, right? I guess we bonded over both having someone we love trapped in the Capitol.                                              God, baby, I can't even begin to imagine what you've been through there. One day, if you ever feel ready, I hope you'll tell me. But please know that I'll never pressure you. Take all the time you need, just don't shut me out. Whatever happens, we'll get through this together. We'll survive this rebellion, and finally, we'll get the life we've always dreamed of. But... there's something I need to tell you. And I'm too much of a coward to say it when you're awake. I have to fight. I know you won't like it, but I can't just sit back and do nothing. I promised Coin I'd join her Star Squad or Squad 451, as she calls it. I'm afraid your dad might have already told you, and I'm sorry for that. But please, don't hate me. I need to do this for us. I just hope you understand." Finnick spoke softly to Lea, who remained fast asleep. He then slowly lifted her hand and gave her a small kiss on her hand, hoping not to wake her up. 

For a moment after, he just looked at her, smiling softly, keeping her hand in his, continuing to rub small circles with his thumb. 

After a while, Finnick himself fell asleep in the chair next to her bed. 

A few seconds after Finnick fell asleep, Lea opened her eyes, seeing Finnick asleep next to her. 

She had woken up the moment Finnick took her hand in his, though she hadn't been truly asleep to begin with. But as he spoke, she decided it was better to keep her eyes closed, to pretend she was still asleep, and just listen. She knew that if he realized she was awake, he never would have said what he just did.

At first, she was furious after hearing Finnick had joined the Star Squad. How could he do this to her after everything they had been through? But as she listened to him speak, she began to understand, at least a little. Even so, the fear of losing him again was overwhelming. She hoped they could talk about it when he was awake. Maybe she could convince him to stay with her, to not go at all. But she knew that was selfish. Finnick was one of the best fighters they had, and if they were going to take down the Capitol once and for all, they needed him. Maybe if she got stronger, she could join the squad, too. Then they could fight together. Fight for the future they deserved.