Percabeth Oneshots

Tipsy Tales

By me.

It had been a night that started with good intentions but quickly spiraled into something none of the boys would ever forget—and the girls would never quite live down.

The night was supposed to be simple. Annabeth, Piper, and Hazel had planned a quiet evening out—just the three of them. After weeks of battles, training, and intense demigod schedules, they needed a break. A night of girl talk, some good food, and maybe a little wine. A little.

But, as with most plans involving demigods, things didn’t go exactly as expected.

“Just one more glass,” Piper had said at the small restaurant they’d gone to. “We deserve it.”

Annabeth had hesitated at first, glancing at her nearly empty wine glass. “I don’t know… we still have to get back to camp.”

Hazel, the youngest but surprisingly persuasive, had chimed in. “Oh, come on. One more glass isn’t going to hurt anything. Besides, it’s a girls’ night. No boys to worry about. Just us!”

Annabeth had sighed, knowing deep down that Hazel and Piper were right. They’d earned this. “Alright, one more glass.”

And that was their first mistake.

One glass had turned into two, then three. Soon enough, they were laughing louder than they should have been and drawing more than a few curious glances from the other diners.

By the time they stumbled out of the restaurant, giggling uncontrollably, their night of relaxation had turned into a tipsy adventure.

Piper was the first to suggest something crazy. “Hey, Jason has been talking about flying with me more, right? Well, what if I fly him?”

Annabeth, who was trying and failing to walk in a straight line, snorted. “You can’t fly, Pipes.”

“Oh yeah?” Piper’s eyes gleamed mischievously. “Watch me.”

She then attempted to leap onto a nearby bench and make some kind of grand gesture, but instead, she tripped, landing in a heap on the ground. Hazel burst out laughing, clutching her stomach. “That was majestic.”

Piper groaned, sitting up and rubbing her head. “Shut up.”

“I thought you were going to fly, beauty queen,” Annabeth teased, nearly falling herself as she tried to keep her balance.

Piper pointed a finger at her. “I will! Just… not right now.”

It was clear that none of them were in any shape to walk back to camp, let alone attempt any kind of mythical flying stunt. But that didn’t stop them from trying to have fun.

As they made their way through the city streets, they sang loudly (and terribly off-key) to songs that popped into their heads. Annabeth kept trying to talk about ancient architecture, particularly the beauty of the Parthenon.

“Columns,” she slurred, waving her hands in the air. “So many columns… beautiful columns. They just stand there, you know? So solid.”

Piper, barely able to stand from laughing, clung to Annabeth’s arm. “Columns. I get it. Like… like Jason’s arms! He’s got solid arms too!”

“That’s… not the same thing,” Annabeth replied, trying to look serious but failing miserably as she broke into laughter.

Meanwhile, Hazel, trailing a little behind them, was lost in her own world. She kept repeating how Nico, her brother, was secretly a cinnamon roll.

“He’s just misunderstood,” she said to no one in particular. “He’s all grumpy and shadows and all that, but really, he just needs more hugs. Maybe, like, a puppy.”

Annabeth and Piper exchanged a look, then doubled over with laughter again.

By the time they finally arrived back at camp, it was well past midnight, and they were a sight to behold. Their hair was a mess, their clothes were askew, and they were still laughing uncontrollably.

It was only when they stumbled into the main cabin that they realized something important—the boys were all still awake.

Percy, Jason, and Frank were sitting around the fire pit, playing cards and chatting, but they immediately looked up when the girls entered, their expressions ranging from amused to concerned.

“You guys okay?” Percy asked, raising an eyebrow as Annabeth wobbled toward him.

“We’re fiiiine,” Annabeth said, waving her hand dismissively before collapsing onto the couch next to Percy. She draped her arms around him, her breath warm against his neck. “Guess what, Seaweed Brain?”

Percy chuckled, catching her before she slid onto the floor. “What?”

“I love columns. Columns are so cool.”

Percy blinked, trying to understand what she was saying. “Uh… okay?”

“She’s been going on about columns for the past hour,” Piper chimed in, flopping onto the couch next to Jason, who was watching her with barely concealed amusement.

“And Jason’s arms are like columns,” Hazel added, her voice dream-like. “Strong… solid… columns.”

Jason’s face turned a shade of pink. “Uh… thanks?”

Frank, sitting across the room, looked over at Hazel, who had managed to find her way to the floor and was now lying down, staring at the ceiling. “Are you okay, Hazel?”

“I’m great,” she said dreamily. “I was just thinking… Nico needs a puppy.”

Frank frowned. “What?”

“A puppy,” she repeated. “He’s so sad and serious all the time. A puppy would fix everything.”

Jason and Percy exchanged a look. This was definitely not what they had expected when the girls said they were going for a quiet night out.

Annabeth, still hanging off Percy’s shoulder, sighed dramatically. “The Parthenon has so many columns. And they’re all so beautiful.”

Percy couldn’t help but laugh, even as he gently pried her off him and tried to get her to sit up straight. “Okay, Annabeth. I think it’s time for bed.”

“I’m not sleepy,” she protested, though her eyelids were already drooping.

Jason, struggling to keep Piper from falling off the couch, sighed. “How much did you guys drink?”

“Just… a little,” Piper replied, holding her thumb and forefinger close together to demonstrate.

“A little?” Jason raised an eyebrow.

“We’re fine,” Piper insisted, even as her head lolled to the side and rested on Jason’s shoulder. “Just… tired.”

Frank, watching Hazel blink sleepily at the ceiling, shook his head. “I guess we’re playing babysitters tonight.”

Percy gently tugged Annabeth to her feet. “Come on, Wise Girl. Let’s get you to bed.”

“I am wise,” Annabeth muttered, leaning heavily on him. “Wiser than you. You wouldn’t understand columns.”

Percy laughed, half-carrying her toward her cabin. “You can explain it to me in the morning.”

As they made their way to bed, Piper and Hazel were also being ushered to their rooms, with Jason and Frank doing their best to keep them upright.

The next morning, the girls woke up with pounding headaches, vague memories of their night out, and three very smug boyfriends waiting for them at breakfast.

“So,” Percy said, unable to hide his grin. “How are those columns doing this morning?”

Annabeth glared at him, her face buried in her hands. “Don’t. Even. Start.”

And thus, the legend of their tipsy adventure—and Annabeth’s love for columns—was born, destined to be a story the boys would never let them forget.