Percabeth Oneshots

Poseidon's Training

By me.

Percy Jackson was having a perfectly ordinary day—well, as ordinary as a demigod’s life could get. He was lounging on the couch in his living room, blissfully unaware that his life was about to take a comedic turn.

Annabeth Chase, his genius girlfriend, had just returned from the Athena cabin, clutching a scroll filled with plans for their next quest.

“Percy!” she called, her eyes alight with excitement. “I’ve got a new plan to strategize our next mission. We could totally catch the monster by surprise if we—”

“Uh, Annabeth,” Percy interrupted, pointing toward the kitchen, “I think I smell something burning.”

Before Annabeth could respond, there was a loud crash from the kitchen. Percy jumped up, heart racing, and bolted toward the source of the noise, closely followed by Annabeth.

As they burst into the kitchen, they found Paul Blofis, Percy’s stepdad, looking sheepish next to a smoking, overturned pot. “Um, I was trying to make spaghetti… but I think the water boiled over.”

“More like it boiled away,” Annabeth muttered, raising an eyebrow.

“Don’t worry! I can handle this,” Paul said, puffing out his chest in an exaggerated display of confidence. “How hard can it be to cook a simple meal?”

Just then, a booming voice echoed through the room. “It’s more complicated than you think, Paul!”

Poseidon, god of the sea, appeared in a dramatic swirl of water, glistening like he had just stepped off a beach. He looked around and frowned.

“Why does it smell like burnt offerings? Have you been practicing your culinary skills again?”

“Yeah, well, we can’t all be gods in the kitchen,” Paul replied, arms crossed defensively.

“Actually, Paul, you’re right!” Poseidon exclaimed, a gleam in his eye. “Why don’t I give you a crash course in practical cooking?”

Percy’s eyes widened in horror. “Wait, Dad, practical training in cooking? This is a terrible idea!”

But Poseidon was already rolling up his sleeves, ready to get to work. “Don’t worry, son. This will be a piece of cake! Or should I say… a piece of seaweed?”

Annabeth couldn’t help but snicker as Poseidon began to direct Paul on how to cook. “First, we’ll need the water!” Poseidon shouted, waving his hands dramatically.

With a flick of his wrist, he summoned a massive wave from the ocean, flooding the kitchen. Paul yelped, trying to shield himself as the water engulfed him, while Percy and Annabeth stood there, trying to contain their laughter.

“Uh, Dad, I think we need a smaller wave!” Percy shouted over the sound of rushing water.

Poseidon grinned, undeterred. “No such thing as too much water when you’re cooking! Just wait and see!”

Amidst the chaos, Paul struggled to regain control. “This is why I stick to takeout!”

Annabeth, now doubled over with laughter, chimed in, “Or you could just let Poseidon do the cooking. I’m pretty sure he can whip up a feast in seconds!”

Finally, Poseidon waved his hand again, and the wave receded, leaving Paul drenched but miraculously with a pot of perfectly boiled pasta.

“See? Easy peasy!” Poseidon declared, beaming with pride.

Percy looked at the pot skeptically. “Uh, what about the sauce?”

With a dramatic flair, Poseidon conjured up an array of ingredients from the ocean: crabs, seaweed, and... a whole bottle of ketchup.

“Voila! Ocean’s Delight Spaghetti!” he announced, proudly presenting his creation.

Paul stared at the plate, bewildered. “Is that… crab? With ketchup? Are you serious?”

“Crustaceans and ketchup! It’s a classic!” Poseidon replied, grinning from ear to ear.

“Not even in my wildest dreams would I consider that a classic,” Annabeth said, shaking her head in disbelief. “But I’ll give it a try.”

“Me too!” Percy chimed in, hoping the taste would be better than it looked.

Paul took a tentative bite, his face contorting with confusion. “This is… different.”

Poseidon watched eagerly, but the silence was deafening. “Well?” he pressed.

“Honestly, it tastes like the ocean and… ketchup,” Paul said, trying not to offend the god of the sea.

Annabeth couldn’t hold it any longer; she burst into laughter. “Congratulations, Poseidon! You’ve invented a new dish—Ketchsea Spaghetti!”

“Not so bad, huh?” Poseidon said, puffing up with pride.

“Let’s never do this again,” Paul pleaded, and everyone nodded in agreement.

As they all sat down for an unexpected meal of Ketchsea Spaghetti, the laughter continued, with Annabeth teasing Percy about his taste in food and Poseidon trying to convince them of the dish’s merits.

“Next time, maybe we’ll just order pizza,” Percy suggested, smirking.