Percabeth Oneshots

Tipsy Tales : The Revenge

By me.

It had been a quiet night for Annabeth, Piper, and Hazel—until it wasn’t.

The boys had come back from an impromptu night out, and while the girls had expected them to be loud and rowdy, they hadn't expected this level of drunken chaos.

Percy, Jason, and Frank were absolutely plastered, laughing hysterically over things that made no sense, and, much to the girls' chagrin, enjoying themselves far too much.

Annabeth sighed as she looked over at Percy, who was hanging off Jason’s shoulder like a limp fish, laughing at something Jason had whispered to him. Frank, meanwhile, was engaged in what seemed to be a heartfelt apology to a wall, telling it, "I'm so sorry, wall. I didn't mean to run into you earlier."

"Unbelievable," Annabeth muttered, crossing her arms. "Did they really need to get this drunk?"

Piper, sitting beside her on the couch, chuckled. "I think this is payback for last time."

Annabeth groaned. "Don’t remind me."

Hazel, who was sitting in the armchair, had her face buried in her hands, trying to hide her laughter. “I don’t know what’s worse—when we were drunk or... this.”

Piper grinned. “Definitely this. At least we weren’t talking to walls.”

“True,” Hazel admitted, biting back a smile as Frank continued to softly pat the wall, assuring it that “it’s doing a good job.”

The memory of their own tipsy night out came flooding back. Just a few weeks ago, the roles had been reversed. Annabeth, Piper, and Hazel had gone out for a girls’ night, which had turned into a tipsy disaster. They’d returned to camp giggling uncontrollably, much to the boys' frustration.

Piper had attempted to fly on Jason’s shoulders, and Hazel had insisted that Nico was a cinnamon roll who just needed more hugs. Meanwhile, Annabeth had spent half the night trying to explain the architectural wonders of the Acropolis—only to get stuck halfway through her explanation and start laughing at how the word “columns” sounded when repeated too many times.

That night, the boys had handled everything with patient exasperation. Now, they were getting their revenge.

Jason suddenly jumped up from the couch, flapping his arms wildly. “I can fly! I’m a lightning bolt!”

Piper groaned, getting up to steady him before he fell over. “Jason, you can’t fly.”

Jason shook his head, his voice slurring. “I totally can. Watch!” He flapped his arms harder and took an unsteady step forward, nearly face-planting before Piper caught him.

“Yep, definitely flying,” Piper muttered sarcastically, easing him back onto the couch.

Annabeth glanced over at Percy, who was now lying flat on the floor, staring up at the ceiling with a dreamy expression on his face. “Percy, are you alright?”

Percy’s glazed eyes found hers, and he grinned lazily. “Hey, Wise Girl. Did you know… the stars look like fish?”

Annabeth raised an eyebrow, trying to stifle her laughter. “Fish?”

He nodded solemnly. “Yeah. Like… ocean fish. But in the sky. Swimming through the clouds.”

“Sure, Percy,” Annabeth said, shaking her head. “Let’s get you off the floor, seaweed brain.”

“Floor’s comfy,” Percy mumbled, his head lolling to the side. “Like… the ocean. Solid ground, but not too solid. You get it.”

Annabeth rolled her eyes. “Yep, totally.”

Piper laughed as she sank back onto the couch. “This is exactly how they must’ve felt watching us last time.”

“Except we weren’t this ridiculous,” Annabeth countered, eyeing Percy as he tried—and failed—to get up.

“I don’t know,” Hazel said, giggling. “You did spend twenty minutes talking about how beautiful the Parthenon was while being completely unable to say ‘Parthenon’ correctly.”

Annabeth narrowed her eyes playfully at Hazel. “I’m an architect. I was educating you.”

“Sure you were,” Piper teased. “But it came out like, "P-P-P-arthhhnon."

Annabeth chuckled, but her amusement quickly turned into a sigh as Percy finally managed to sit up. “I think the only way to make them pay for this is to remind them of tonight for the next month.”

Piper snorted. “Oh, I plan on it.”

Jason suddenly leaned in close to Percy, as if sharing a serious secret. “Dude… I’m a storm. Like… a whole hurricane.”

Percy gasped, his eyes wide. “Dude, that’s so cool.”

Annabeth pinched the bridge of her nose. “Why do I put up with him?”

“Because you love him,” Hazel said simply, getting up to pull Frank away from the wall. “Just like I love Frank, even when he’s talking to inanimate objects.”

Percy, clearly still lost in his drunken haze, stared up at Annabeth with a goofy grin. “You’re the best, Wise Girl. Did you know that? I love you.”

Annabeth rolled her eyes, though there was a fond smile on her lips. “You’re lucky I love you too.”

“You’re like… a wise fish,” Percy continued, his words slurring slightly. “A beautiful, smart fish.”

“A fish?” Annabeth repeated, stifling a laugh.

“Yeah,” Percy said, nodding enthusiastically. “Like, you know, swimming through life. Solving puzzles. But also, you’re gorgeous. A gorgeous, wise fish.”

That was it. Piper collapsed in laughter, her head falling back against the couch as she clutched her stomach. Hazel joined in, shaking her head in disbelief.

Annabeth pressed a hand to her face, trying not to laugh. “Alright, fish boy. Let’s get you to bed.”

“Bed sounds great,” Percy agreed, though he made no move to get up.

Annabeth sighed, pulling him up with effort. “You’re going to regret all of this in the morning.”

Percy leaned heavily on her shoulder, swaying slightly. “Nah. Not with you around. You’re too awesome for that.”

Annabeth couldn’t help but smile. As ridiculous as he was, Percy always knew how to make her feel special—even when he was completely out of his mind.

Piper, guiding Jason toward their room, looked over her shoulder. “I say we leave out some Advil and water. They’ll need it in the morning.”

Hazel chuckled, still half-carrying Frank, who was muttering apologies to the furniture as they passed. “And then we remind them of this night. Forever.”

As Annabeth helped Percy into bed, his head flopping onto the pillow with a contented sigh, she couldn’t help but think that, yes, the boys had gotten their revenge tonight—but the girls would be the ones to have the last laugh.

Because if there was one thing Annabeth knew for sure, it was that tomorrow morning, when Percy was groaning from a hangover and desperately seeking her forgiveness, she’d be more than happy to remind him of his “wise fish” comment—over and over again.