Percabeth Oneshots

High Standards

By me.

Sally Jackson was standing at the kitchen counter, stirring a pot of spaghetti sauce, when she heard the front door open. Her son, Percy, walked in, looking as casual as ever despite the fact that he was usually up to his neck in life-or-death scenarios.

“Hey, Mom,” he said, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge like nothing was out of the ordinary.

“Hey, sweetie," she replied, glancing up from her cooking. "How’s your day going?"

Percy shrugged, twisting the cap off his water bottle. “Well... no one’s died yet.”

Sally froze, wooden spoon mid-stir. She slowly turned to face him, eyes wide. “Yet?!”

Percy blinked, taking a sip of water. “Yeah, y’know. It’s early.”

Sally set the spoon down, crossing her arms and giving him the look. The one that could make even gods tremble. "Those are your standards now? No one's died yet?"

“Well…” Percy scratched the back of his neck. “In my defense, the day's still young."

"Percy," she groaned, rubbing her temples. “Please tell me you didn’t have another ‘monster incident.’”

“Okay, so…” Percy started, holding up a finger as if to explain away the chaos that was surely about to follow. “It wasn’t that bad this time. Just a baby hydra. Tiny thing. Cut off one head, two more popped up—you know the drill.”

Sally stared at him. "The 'baby' had multiple heads?"

Percy waved his hand dismissively. “Yeah, but, like, baby heads. Super manageable.”

“Manageable?”

“Totally!” Percy grinned. “You should’ve seen how fast I handled it. I had it wrapped up before I even had time to grab a burrito.”

Sally pinched the bridge of her nose. “Percy. You can’t rate your days based on whether or not someone’s died.”

“Why not? It’s worked so far.”

She shot him a deadpan look. “That’s not a good thing.”

“Mom, it’s better than, ‘Well, a couple people died, but at least I saved the cat,’ right?”

Sally sighed, shaking her head as she turned back to her sauce. “You’re giving me gray hairs.”

“Aw, c’mon, Mom. Think of it this way—every day I come home with zero casualties is a win.”

“Maybe for you.” Sally muttered under her breath, giving the sauce an aggressive stir.

Percy sauntered up behind her, leaning on the counter with his classic grin. "Besides, if anything really bad happens, you'll be the first to know."

She gave him a side-eye. "That's supposed to make me feel better?"

"Sure! See, I've got it all under control." He gave her a playful nudge. "And technically, the day's not over yet."

Sally groaned. “Percy!”

Percy laughed, dodging her swat. “I’m kidding! Well, mostly.”

Sally turned back to her cooking, shaking her head. “You and your 'standards'... I need a vacation.”

Percy grinned. “Just make sure no monsters follow us there.”

“Don’t tempt fate,” Sally muttered, stirring her sauce with renewed determination.

With Percy around, even a normal day had the potential to get wild.