Percabeth Oneshots

The Path To Inner Peace

By me.

Percy and Grover sat cross-legged on the grass, a group of young campers gathered around them, all wide-eyed and eager for wisdom.

The peaceful afternoon at Camp Half-Blood was the perfect backdrop for what was supposed to be an educational session on "Conflict Resolution for Demigods." Of course, with Percy involved, things were bound to go a little sideways.

Percy clapped his hands together and grinned at the campers. "Alright, campers, today we’re gonna teach you something important. Something that will change your life."

The campers leaned in closer.

"The path to inner peace," Percy began, "starts with three simple words."

Grover nodded solemnly beside him, as if this was sacred knowledge passed down from the ancient satyrs.

Percy paused dramatically, making sure he had their attention. "Those three words are… 'Not. My. Problem.'"

Grover beamed. "Works every time!"

The younger campers exchanged looks of awe, nodding as if they had just been given the key to the universe.

A girl raised her hand. "So… if a monster attacks us…?"

"Not your problem," Percy said sagely, folding his arms like some kind of zen master. "Unless it’s directly in your face, then yeah, maybe it's your problem. But otherwise? Walk away."

The campers nodded again, completely hooked.

Another camper raised a hand. "What if someone asks us for help with their Greek homework?"

"Not your problem!" Grover said enthusiastically, tapping his horns. "See? You guys are getting it!"

Just as they were about to move on to more life-altering wisdom, Annabeth appeared from behind them, arms crossed, one eyebrow raised higher than Percy’s math scores.

"Excuse me," she said, in that tone that usually made Percy rethink his entire existence.

The campers instantly sat up straighter, like they'd been caught in the middle of plotting to overthrow Olympus.

Annabeth stepped forward, hands on her hips. "That’s not what you guys are supposed to be teaching them!"

Percy scratched the back of his head sheepishly. "What do you mean? It’s, uh, solid advice, right?"

"Solid advice?" Annabeth narrowed her eyes. "Teaching a bunch of demigods to avoid their problems is not exactly going to keep them alive out there!"

Grover shrugged. "Hey, avoidance works for me. I avoided Cyclopes for years, and look at me—still here!"

Annabeth sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "You two are hopeless."

Percy leaned over to Grover and whispered, loud enough for everyone to hear, "Hey, Grover…"

"Yeah?"

"This sounds like her problem."

Grover nodded. "Totally not our problem."

Annabeth’s glare could’ve sent monsters running for the hills.

"Percy Jackson, you are definitely going to have a problem."

Percy quickly raised his hands in surrender. "Okay, okay, how about this—new lesson! The path to inner peace involves sometimes making it your problem, but only when Annabeth tells you to."

Grover snorted, the campers giggled, and Annabeth rolled her eyes, though a small smile tugged at her lips.

"That’s more like it," she said. "Now, who wants to learn how to properly handle their problems?"

The campers hesitated, glancing back at Percy.

He gave them a thumbs up. "You guys got this. But, you know… if it gets too hard, it’s still okay to say ‘not my problem.’ Just… don’t say that to Annabeth."

The campers giggled again, and Annabeth shook her head with a chuckle, muttering, "Seaweed Brain."

Percy grinned. "That’s me!"

And with that, inner peace—or something like it—was restored at Camp Half-Blood.