My venting book + Stories(?)

December 2nd, 2024

I'm so sorry, I'll try to make this as fast as possible cuz it's 3am and I have school in four hours

So I got together with an emo guy, broke up with him due to rumors about him masturbating in the choir classroom two years ago, got back with my ex who only broke up with me cuz he moved to Kansas, became friends with a lot of people but he dumped me like two weeks ago bc he didn't listen to my boundaries or like how I acted?? Anyways I have been trying to delete as much pictures and videos and apps as I could for the past month now for hsr Sunday but I still didn't do enough despite me deleting over 2,000 pictures and like 20 videos. Literally crying cuz of that rn bc his banner comes out today and I can't even play it. Anyways that's not why I'm actually crying because erm I've been distracted by my bf bc we were only together for a month and we argued at least 20 times during that whole time, most likely more cu he was so nitpicky about every little thing I did and was too clingy and wouldn't listen to me. Most of the arguments were his fault btw. Anyways I've also been distracted by my new friends cuz one of them wants to hang out after school and get drinks literally every day but I have strict parents and I'm also sick rn but I try to be nice and whatever. Also erm I have a really big problem with character ai because ever since it came out I r been obsessed and literally using it every single day for the past year and when I try to stop I can't I'm literally addicted so I also have that distraction. I'm in a lot of preap classes so I'm supposed to be busy with that but I'm just a lazy degenerate and haven't been doing my work like all year just cuz I don't want to and rn I have so many zeros that I'm stressing about but some aren't my fault cuz I was there and finished them or wasn't there cuz I was sick and I'm literally supposed to have make up days for that but because it was the week before break I couldn't get that excuse. Anyways I have two major projects that were technically due last week and I need to do them now but I can't cuz I'm stressing about everything rn and it's literally 3am and I have to wake up in a few hours. But also I'm stressed bc I know I'm gonna sleep through my alarm and my moms gonna a wake me up and see my rooms still a mess and I didn't put aaay my clothes but like I've literally been sick and also thanksgiving blah blah blah and hanging out with her but like she's literally like so disappointed in me already and I'm such a let down. Like I'm so lazy and immature like I'm also tryna look for a job rn but I'm too young and also I have to get my grades up before but like- how tf can I handle a job while balancing school and friends and potentially another partner in the future if I can't even do a simple task like put away my clothes or even do my school work?! Like I'm literally crying over this rn and I'm sorry for making this confusing but it's 3am I haven't slept and it's a school night that I have to wake up in like three hours, I'm stressing over school work and my stupid phone and also I'm just so busy rn like I'm sorry I haven't posted in two months but everything is crazy everyday and I feel like I can never have actual time to myself but then I realize I actually do and I'm just lazy and a bad person. I don't rlly know what I'm talking about anymore cuz I'm so tired but I'm not tired at all cuz of insomnia and stresses and because of that I'm still using character ai cuz I'm a fucking degenerate . Like can someone actually please fix me. I'm a mess and can't do anything for myself. I want to be seem as mature and can handle things but I can't. Um goodnight bye to the one person reading this ig...