Timeless: Tayvis Oneshots

haunted

Travis' POV

The day she died, a part of me died with her. 

The day her heart stopped beating, a chunk of mine was torn away and buried beneath the dirt with her body.

It's been three weeks and two days since I came home from the funeral I never thought I'd have to attend. Ever since then, nothing had stopped the screaming agony ripping apart my veins and clogging my throat every time someone looks my way. 

I hate people asking me how I am. I hate the sympathetic shoulder rubs and the gentle offer of a conversation if I need it. Because of course I need to talk about this, but the one person I want to talk to about it...is gone.

At night I sleep on her side of the bed. There's that soft lavender scent on her pillow that she always smelled of, and sometimes I still find blonde hairs in all kinds of places. They hurt to see.

"Travis." Kylie gently placed her hand on my wrist and I blinked, looking up. "There's paps outside." She said quietly.

"Oh." I mumbled.

She'd tried so hard to convince me to leave the house or the first time since I'd lost everything. We'd just gone to get some stuff for the girls, quietly. But of course the media had found me. The world had been shaken to its core when the news broke that Taylor Kelce had passed away, and every eye was on me. 

For some twisted reason, a few people thought that what happened to her was my fault. But I hadn't even known about her head injury. She hadn't told me, probably because she knew I'd worry too much. I only knew when she was already gone, and the video of it happening had surfaced on the internet. I'd watched it with tears pouring down my cheeks; the video of Taylor getting swamped by haters, her security trying to get to her, and she'd been knocked aside the wrong way.

It had been too late by the time we'd gotten her to the hospital. They'd pronounced her DOA. Nothing we could have done. The bleeding in her brain had been too severe.

"No." I choked out, stumbling back from the door. "No, no Kylie I can't."

"Travis." My sister-in-law turned and pulled me into the hug she knew I needed. I started sobbing as I hugged her tightly, missing when I'd used to be able to hug the one person I couldn't hug anymore. 

"I miss her so much." I sobbed, wishing I could just die. Maybe then I'd see her again. 

"I know, I know you do. I miss her so fucking much." Kylie sniffed, trying so hard not to cry along with me. "Let's get you home okay?" She said, voice thick with tears. "Past this shitshow. I'm sorry, maybe you weren't ready."

I just nodded, but I squeezed Kylie's arm to let her know it wasn't her fault. I just wished the world wasn't so interested in shoving a camera into my broken heart to see how I was coping.

How the fuck did they think I'd be coping. I'd lost my wife, my best friend, my soulmate. My Taylor girl was dead and gone and buried and I was none of those things. We'd promised each other our lives, but hers had been taken from me. I wished I could follow her, but I loved enough people that I couldn't pass my pain onto. That was enough to stop me...for now.

Kylie gave me her cap which I pulled low over my face, and she rushed me to the car, spitting low curses at the few paps that dared to come closer. She was honestly scary when she wanted to be, so I didn't blame them for backing off. And thank God for my sister-in-law, who got us to her car and away before too much chaos came down on us.

We didn't speak as she drove us home. I'd been forcefully moved from my house to live with Jason and Kylie after my first few days alone since they'd been so worried about me, and I now stayed in their guest room downstairs. I appreciated it, but I just wished I could have somewhere to scream and sob without scaring the girls. 

The girls didn't understand. They were only little, and they didn't know where Auntie Tay had gone so suddenly. They didn't understand why everyone cried so much, why no one talked about her, why we didn't answer their questions. It had broken my heart when Bennett had cried for hours, begging for her Auntie Tay cuddles that she'd loved so much. How did you tell a little girl that the safe arms she loved so much were gone forever. 

Knowing I couldn't let the girls see me the way I was, I went to my room when Kylie and I got home. She held me back long enough to make me promise to ask for help if I needed any, and I nodded before fleeing to hide by myself. I was close to breaking down and I didn't want anyone to feel sorry for me. They had their own pain. 

Locking the bedroom door, I took a step into the room before my knees wobbled and crumpled. I dropped to the carpet with a thud, burying my face into the end of the bed before letting out a hoarse howl of pain. My heart tore apart with the scream I tried my best to muffle, tears staining the bedsheets as I clutched at them, trying to find purchase that didn't exist. 

My wedding ring cut into my hand; pain I welcomed. I could still smell her, feel her in the room yet she lay hours away beneath the dirt. We'd buried her next to Marjorie. It was what Taylor would have wanted.

"Baby I miss you." I howled, slumped against the end of the bed, unable to move. The words just needed to get out. 

I clutched at my chest, over my heart as I felt a sharp pain blooming. That pain was the worst. The real pain from the mental tearing of missing her. I wished it would just kill me since I didn't have the balls to do that to myself.

I could almost feel her hand on the back of my neck, stroking up to rub my hair for comfort. Or her arms wrapping around my neck from behind, her chin on my shoulder, enveloping me.

I wished this wasn't real. This didn't have to be real but it was and I was dying from the pain of it. I knew nothing could undo this. 

"Travis, Travis I'm scared."

The last thing she ever said to me. Mumbled when I'd found her on the couch, terrified at her condition. That was the last time I'd ever seen her eyes, which had soon closed and never reopened. 

Those words haunted me, and they would continue to haunt me for the rest of my life, no matter how long or short it was going to be. They'd haunt the broken soul I was now. Forever.