Like clockwork, we see a file land on Blitz's desk, showing a plain, uncaring man in the photo attached to it. Blitz's voice is heard in the voice-over.
Blitz: *voice-over* Okay, taint-munchers, I want a weekend where I don't gotta worry about Doordash fees, so let's finish this job quick and easy! We're hunting down some fucker named Joe Smoe in some backward ass nowhere city in the heart of New Mexico. Apparently, the client wants him dead due to the fact that he... loitered racistly? Geez, people will want others dead for anything nowadays, huh? Anyway, he seems easy to spot, but it's a big state. So, keep your eyes pe-
Bendy: *voice-over* BLITZ, STOP MONOLOGING, YOU'RE DRIVING!!!!!
The camera cuts rather intensely, showing Blitz driving, racing in the IMP van on Earth. Blitz is simultaneously driving the van and aiming with a sniper rifle, much to Moxxie's dismay as he sits next to him while Bendy stretches his arms from his seat in the back to steady the van.
Moxxie: SIR! Focus on the road!
Blitz: I'm just making sure that it's the right guy, okay? Calm down, Mox, I am a fantastic driver!
The imp then scopes in on the target, his hands shaking. He steers with his feet while pushing the pedal down with his tail.
Blitz: Hold on, I wonder if I could just-
He fires the rifle... Only to accidentally blow some random, innocent biker's head off.
Blitz: Agh! Nope, almost had him.
Bendy: Is the rifle REALLY necessary?! He's literally right next to us!!!
Blitz: Yes, because I'm extra!
Moxxie: Oh crumbs in a blanket!
Bendy: Just hold the wheel, Moxxie and I'll shoot.
Blitz grabs onto the steering wheel as Bendy holds the rifle for his husband. With much steadier hands and Bendy's support, Moxxie grabs the rifle and aims for the target.
Moxxie: Nice and steady, Ben.... Perfect. Now to-
Bendy: LOOK OUT!!!
Suddenly, a red sports car enters the scene and hits their van, making Bendy drop the rifle from the impact.
Blitz: Oh fuck the shit back into my stomach!
The IMP van seemingly hits the target's car, causing it to fall into a canyon and explode.
Bendy: *looks out window* Huh... Well, I hope he's got Geico.
Moxxie: I guess that all worked out, then. *two eyes closed* Job well done, we can go home now.
However, Blitz starts growling and foaming at the mouth like a rapid dog...
Blitz: That fucker... Cut me off...
Bendy: Blitz, buddy, don't. Come on, the mission is over, we only needed to get-
Blitz: THAT FUCKER!!!!! CUT ME OFF!!!!!!!
Bendy: *pinches the bridge of his nose* God fucking dammit....
Despite the protests, Blitz starts swerving with the van and chasing the red car.
Moxxie: Sir, think about this for a second. Yes, this guy is a huge, gaping asshole. But killing him is a huge risk of us being exposed!
Blitz: I'm not gonna kill him, I'm just... *sighs* I'm gonna fucking yell at him or something, I haven't figured it out yet!
Moxxie: ALSO a bad idea, sir! But fine, if you must. Just catch up with him and get it over with.
Blitz: THE FUCK YOU THINK I'M TRYING TO DO, MOX?!
YOU ARE READING
Helluva Boss: Ink Edition
FanfictionDuring the events of Hazbin Hotel: Ink Edition, our animated Overlord has fallen into a bit of monetary trouble when his studio becomes a wreck and the Hotel has a slow revenue stream. So, Bendy decides to take a job with the Immediate Murder Profes...
