Smoke and Mirrors (Smoke #1)

[ 23 ]

No matter how hard I had tried, I struggled to get my mind off what happened between Marcus and I at the football game. I mean, how could I? Everything had happened so fast and without any actual warning. And as usual, I was over analysing everything about the kiss. Since Sunday neither Marcus or I had spoken with each other since what happened and I assumed that he was pretty embarrassed about it. I couldn't blame the footballer, I would have felt the same way too. I still feel awkward about the whole thing and couldn't help but feel guilty.

The television bleared out an episode of a random show that I couldn't be bothered paying any attention to. My arms wrapped around my legs as I sat feeling helpless on the brown floorboards holding a cup of coffee in my hands. Staring out the large window, I watched the trees brush against the glass surface, letting out a deep sigh.

It had been a whole two weeks since the game and during those two weeks I had been all over the place. Derrick had been giving me concerned glances as if I was asking for anyone to feel sympathy for me, Madeline continually questioned me believing that I was still getting harassed by Kyle and Kyle, well nothing could be said him as nobody ever really expects him to change.

Gemma has texted me several times but of course I just texted her the same response that I was fine. The only surprising thing about all of this was Marcus hasn't had any contact with me since the night of our kiss. Not a single call or even a text. I was scared that I had lost a beautiful friendship with one of the only people I had ever grown close to be really good friends with, apart from Gemma of course.

Fiddling with the silver chain I wore around my neck, the coldness of the pendant made a shiver rush down my spine as the memory of the kiss came rushing back. Letting out a shaky breath, the touch of his lips were still lingering against mine as I ran my finger along the top of my lips; another cold shiver rushed through my body. I still kept replaying the kiss over and over again in my mind realising that I had made a pretty big mistake.

I couldn't help myself. It had felt like since the kiss we shared, it was the only thing that consumed me. It was the only thing that continued to rush through my mind. Surely it couldn't have meant anything. There wasn't anyway I could be feeling anything for Marcus.

Oh god did I feel like such a fool after releasing from the kiss, watching the shock form upon his face. His brown eyes that were once filled with hope when I first met him now was replaced with embarrassment and most probably humiliation. Humiliation because I broke through a boundary that was fine the way it was until, as usual I broke those walls down?

I knew it would be a massive deal if I was to ever get in a relationship with him seeing that my occupation with obviously clash with his, not to mention the backlash I would receive from the public because I was romantically involved with a footballer.

With all that hovering in my mind, did I really have feelings for him? I thought to myself as I put the coffee on the table, unable to drink or do anything without becoming overwhelmed by all of the kiss.

As I sat uncomfortably on the ground, a loud knock emerged. Getting up off the ground, I was suddenly nervous if that was Marcus coming over, but why exactly would he want to see me after putting him in such an uncomfortable position?

Walking over to the door, I took a deep breath before turning the door knob and opening the front door to find Tom standing in front of me as I felt like my inside had slowly been tearing apart as if disappointment was slowly killing me inside.

"Hey" I mumbled looking down at the ground for a moment before turning my attention to him forcing a smile on my face.

"Hey Scarlett, do you have a moment to talk?" He asked looking like he was expecting something. I nodded my head, letting him come inside and closing the door behind us. Biting my lip, I was a little anxious as to why Tom was at my door? Does he know about the kiss? Has he come down to tell me off and start an argument? Has Michael mouthed off to him about his issue, whatever that may be? I took a slight moment to pace myself before turning to face him.