Not Expecting to Collide (COMPLETE) - ABP Fanfiction

Chapter 61 - Photograph

October was almost feeling normal once the drugs kicked in and she had time to shower and brush her teeth. She didn't know why she was giving her appearance so much effort but she added a little makeup and pulled her hair into a soft French braid. Going through her closet, She chose a loose flowing tunic and black leggings. Happy with her reflection in the mirror, she left her bedroom. The door to the nursery was open and Bam was inside. He stood close to the wall, peering at the photos she had framed and hung there. He had taken the time to shower and change as well. His hair was still wet and it glistened in the autumn sun that streamed through the window.

October had to ball her hands into tight fists to stop herself from reaching out to feather a strand of it through her fingers. His blue button-up was the same shade as his eyes and hers dropped down to the black jeans that adorned his long, lean legs. The memory of those legs, bare and entwined with hers, flashed suddenly into her mind. She had to grasp the door frame to keep herself from swooning. The sound of her fingernails against the wood trim alerted Bam to her presence.

"This picture," he pointed to the top frame. "is taken on the beach at Browntown."

"Yes, it is." She replied.

"And this one here," he pointed to another. "is where we cut the Christmas tree last December."

"Yes." She said again.

"These three here." He peered closer to three close-up abstracts together in one frame. "Are on the Integrity."

She nodded even though he wasn't looking at her.

"All these pictures are from Alaska." She murmured a positive response. "Why?" He asked plainly.

"Because I think it's important that he knows where he comes from." She unconsciously ran her hand across her stomach.

"But I didn't know about the baby until yesterday."

"No," she replied. "but I have faith." she said the last part quietly, perhaps too quietly for him to hear her properly. In you. She added only in the silence of her mind.

He moved to the other wall of photos and pointed to a photo of a cheery farmhouse with a late model pickup truck parked in front.

"Where was this one taken?"

October stepped further into the room to stand beside him.

"That's the house I grew up in." She said quietly and then her voice caught in her throat and she swallowed hard. "Until my dad died."

"I've never heard you talk about your dad. What was he like?"

October donned a faraway look and she smiled. "He was amazing. He was the kind of dad that every little girl needs and the kind of dad that every little girl should have." She said wistfully. "He always had time for me. He taught me the importance of love and tolerance. He treated me like a princess but that doesn't mean he gave me everything I wanted. I did get in trouble too. Once I cut my hair with my play scissors and I went without dessert for a month."

Bam chuckled at the thought of a young October clipping one of her caramel pigtails. He off-handedly wondered if their unborn baby would have the same golden locks and whisky-hazel eyes as October. Then he was surprised to find himself hoping so.

"I had a very happy childhood." She finished by saying. "You haven't spoken much about the way you grew up."

She watched his adam's apple bob as he swallowed quickly and moistened his lips with the tip of his tongue. "I've been starting to question it as of late. I don't know if it was..." his gaze turned skyward as he searched for the correct word. "...right." It pained him more than he was willing to admit to say so.

"Were you happy?"

"Yes."

"Did you feel loved?"

"Yes. I always felt loved but in hindsight, I wonder if it was coming from a place that was pure." He spoke haltingly and October knew it was not easy for him to question his upbringing, but necessary for him to gain a deeper understanding of himself and the person he wanted to be; the person he was capable of becoming.

"When Auggie and I finally came to live with our grandmother, it was after two tumultuous years of instability and precariousness. I was insecure and angry. My grandmother told me that the people in our lives will be the very best examples of what love is and the very best examples of what love is not. My mother was a very good example of what love is not. I learned from that. It was a tough lesson, especially for a precocious little girl who had lost her father."

Bam looked at her curiously. Insecure was never a word that had come to his mind when he thought about October. Her words were certainly food for thought. His parents were not a shining example of how a functional marriage and equal partnership should be. His father, especially, was a very good example of how he, himself did not want to be. And here October was, expelling all the wonderful things about what her father had been. How could he live up to her expectations when his own example was so far from hers?

The grandfather clock in the library downstairs chimed one and October curled her hand around his forearm.

"We'd better go if we don't want to be late."

He nodded and followed her out of the nursery. He had a lot of things to sort out in his own mind.