Not Expecting to Collide (COMPLETE) - ABP Fanfiction

Chapter 114 - Healing

When they arrived back in Browntown from the hospital, it was warm enough inside the shack for Bam to be comfortable but he still built a small fire in the stove to take the chill out of the air for October and Isabella.
After helping October get comfortable on the bed, he laid Isabella in her arms to nurse and put his boots back on.
"I'll bring you some supper from the main cabin." He said while standing at the door.
"Bam, I'm fine." October protested. "I can walk to the cabin."
He pressed his lips together in a straight line. "I'll be back." He said with a curt nod and left before she had a chance to argue further.
Later, after they had picnicked together on the bed and Bam rocked Isabella to sleep, he heated water on the stove and set out clean linens.
"Thank you." She said quietly. "I can't wait to get the smell of the hospital off of my skin." She took off her clothes and began to wash herself in the dim light of the lamp. Bam watched from the doorway with his feet spread apart and arms crossed over his chest. He stood watch silently like a queen's palace guard.
"Bam?" October repeated for the third time. He blinked at her from behind his glasses and hummed a response. "Will you wash my back, please?" she asked. He nodded slightly and crossed the room. October lifted her hair with both her arms over her head and turned to face the wall, presenting her back to him. She heard him wring out the cloth in the basin and felt it glide over her body. The close proximity of his breath on her skin caused her to shiver. He moved robotically as if he was trying not to touch her with anything except the cloth. She heard him drop it in the basin and then waited. Several moments passed in silence. Turning her head slightly, she looked at him over her shoulder. "Bam?" She questioned softly and then sighed as his lips touched the shell of her ear. She felt the caress of his beard along her skin as his lips travelled down the column of her neck and across the top of her shoulder. Then his mouth left her body just as quickly as it had come. Bam stood abruptly, he quickly removed his clothes and turned down the lamp. He crawled into bed and reached for her in the last light from the setting sun through the window. She went to him willingly, still feeling flushed from his touch. He gathered October into his arms, planted a chaste kiss on her cheek and murmured a soft "good night." After a few minutes, his breathing evened out but October knew from the tenseness of his body that he was far from relaxed.
"Bam?" She questioned. Her eyes searched for him in the dying light. "Bam," she repeated a little louder. "You didn't have to stop." She whispered haltingly. "Touching me. I- I don't want you to stop."
He pressed his lips against her temple and tightened his arms around her waist. "You've been through a lot, baby. Get some rest." He ordered softly.
October ran her hands up his chest and teased his nipples until they pebbled under her touch. "You didn't have to stop." She whispered huskily and rubbed her palm along the beard in his chin. She could almost hear the gears of his brain working. So many emotions played below the surface of his expression. His jaw ticked under the palm of her hand. "No." was his sharp, one-worded answer.
"So you're never going to make love to me again?"
He sighed heavily. "Not until you're ready. When you're not hurting."
Realizing there was more than what he was saying, she pushed. "Don't shut me out, Bam."
"I can't fix this. I can't make this better for you. I can't make the pain go away." His voice caught in his throat.
"I don't expect you to, Bam. We are both hurting. If we just hurt together then maybe it won't be so unbearable."
"Then what do you expect me to do?" He asked, his voice thick with emotion.
"Love me."
"I do. I do love you. More than anything." He said reverently.
"Then love me with your body." She begged.
Bam hesitated for only a moment before rolling above her and stretching his body down the length of hers. She cried out as he slid inside her. His entire body tensed and he went completely still. After a moment she opened her eyes to him and kissed his face sweetly. "I'm okay." She reassured him. "I'm okay, baby." She said again. Gently, he began to move inside her. Bam fisted his hands in her hair as his mouth sought hers in the darkness. She opened up to him and sucked his tongue between her teeth. He broke off their kiss to press his cheek against hers. She felt the tears fall from his eyes and slide down her face before she heard him sob softly in her ear. October pulled Bam closer to her body and wrapped her legs around his waist. She brought one hand up to caress his cheek and wiped away his tears with her fingers. "I love you." She whispered into his ear. Unable to reply, Bam tightened his arms around her waist and rocked his body into her. He felt her soft lips kissing away the tears from his face. In the whisper-filled darkness of the trapper shack, husband and wife began to heal together.