Not Expecting to Collide (COMPLETE) - ABP Fanfiction

Chapter 51 - Bitter

Over the course of the next four months, the image of Bambi with her cheek pressed up against Bam's is the one that flashed in October's mind most often when she thought of Bam. She did think of the tender moments as well, especially at night when she was alone in her bed with only her own arms wrapped around her middle. Her anger had dissipated rather quickly. Now she was just left with bitter, bitter disappointment.

She tried to stop her mind from thinking about him. She tried to stop her soul from wishing for him. She tried to stop her heart from loving him but she couldn't. Whether she wanted to or not, she was still completely in love with him. She guessed that was better than hating his very being. Eventually she was going to have to see him again and she didn't know if it would be easier at that time if she loved him or hated him. And maybe sometimes it was a little bit of both.

~*~

The shipping business was going swimmingly. Bam's hustling at the beginning of the season had paid off. Several of his leads panned out. They now had enough shipping jobs to see them clear through fall without having to rely on Paul Weltzin's castoff jobs.

The middle of July brought a reunion that Bam had been looking forward to. Noah, Birdie and Rainy returned to Browntown from Seattle while Ami and Billy remained behind to continue with Billy's medical treatments.

Having all of his siblings back together and especially his sisters, did a lot to help heal his broken heart. His brothers were great. Matt's antics never failed to cheer him up but once in a while a guy just needed a hug from his sister.

Sure, he would have preferred to bury his face in October's hair and let her soothe away all his pain but currently, that wasn't an option. He missed the sound of her voice. He missed the scent of her skin. He missed the kiss on her lips. He missed the caress of her touch. He missed everything about her.

The return of Rainy and Birdie signaled the end of a great worry for Bam and the beginning of what Bam had been planning since before he left Seattle. All of the Brown kids were back in Browntown. And more importantly, away from the influence of his father and, less so, his mother. It had been a long time coming that Bam would pull away from his parents in this way. A clean break was what Bam needed; what they all needed. He knew his father couldn't be pleased but Billy should have known that he couldn't lord his influence over his children for all their lives, especially when they had become grown men and women with opinions and lives and beliefs of their own. Bam was making his own way in life and helping to set up his siblings to do the same.

Birdie and Rainy were at a loss at first, not knowing where to go or what to do without their mother, but Bam was determined, along with his brothers, to provide the necessary tools they needed to start forming opinions on their own and forging ahead with a healthy future. Once again, it came back down to him being the protective older brother. He never in a million years thought that his own parents would be something he needed to protect his sisters from but he was ready and willing to do what was necessary.

Over the past four years, Bam began to have little niggling feelings in the back of his mind that perhaps his father didn't have anyone's best interests at heart except his own and Billy expected the rest of the family to abide by his decisions that he put forth. He ran the family like a dictatorship. In the following years, Bam had found himself disagreeing with his father more and more. Eventually he became brave enough to voice those concerns. In hindsight, that had been precisely when he and Billy started to not get along. Their relationship had deteriorated more and more until the culmination at the meeting in Seattle. Bam couldn't help but feel so deeply betrayed by Billy that he didn't know if he would ever speak to him again.

His mother, although he loved her very much, he deemed her guilty by association. He never expected Ami to go against Billy's wishes and Bam knew she never would. Unfortunately, because of this, she would also suffer from the breakdown of Bam and Billy's relationship.

Legally, Bam didn't know if he had a leg to stand on. So far, he didn't have to find out. He wouldn't unless there was going to be a battle over custody of Rainy. He knew Billy couldn't have been happy to send Rainy and Birdie back to Alaska with Noah, preferring to keep the young girls under the iron fist of his control. Perhaps he did have his mother to thank for convincing Billy to allow the girls to leave Seattle. His heart softened a little toward Ami for that. If he knew his father, which he was pretty sure he did, Billy would use every dirty trick at his disposal to try to get some or all of his siblings back under his control but Bam, now standing on his own two feet, was not about to let that happen without a considerable battle of wills. And Bam knew now, for the first time in his life; he was the stronger of the two and he would win.