Judge Me Not

Refrain by EnchantingEyes(Reviewed by JanBear_04)

Title- Refrain

Author- EnchantingEyes

Genre- Teen-Fiction & Paranormal

Synopsis- Have you ever lost someone you loved? When you never wanted to forget how they died, but others forced you to? Cady Groves,18 years old believes that she is crazy. She has been in mental institution since she believes her late boyfriend is still alive. Now as she grows older she forgets about him until he came back into her life as ghost.

Review-

First off I would like to tell you that you have a really nice story line and you seem to know where you'll be going with it which is nice! It also seems quite original which is fantastic! And I really like your cover, the fact that you got inspiration from a song is amazing! 

The start to your story has very much potential but needs quite a bit of work. Not only does the first page reveal quite a bit about Cady, it also goes by at a very fast pace which you should try not to do. A lot went on during your first chapter and it was a bit too much. And it was as though you were telling most of the story rather than showing. It's like you were explaining her life while us, the readers should be piecing together her story bit by bit not being told every thing that happened. Another thing I think you could work on would be the description and details of your chapter. I think you explained it like I said before rather than subtly describing the setting.

You should definitely look over your dialogue because there seems to be quite a few errors. For instance, you wrote "You don't remember me?, seriously Cady?" He questioned me. Instead it should be "You don't remember me? Seriously Cady?" He questioned me. Small things like that should be looked over along with your punctuation and grammar. I didn't notice any spelling errors which was good but overall I really think you should really look over your chapter and fix it up before you move on to the next.

Rating- 4/10. 

I really hope you don't take my constructive criticism into offence. I just want to help you fix up your mistakes! Nonetheless you're doing a really good job and I hope you don't give up!

*If you would like to have an interview just message totallyinsane on her personal account and she'll help you out!

By- JanBear_04/Janaka =]

If you guys would like to read this, it'll be in our library!

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