Judge Me Not

Unspoken by ShimmerShine97xx, reviewed by Lilshrimp

Title: Unspoken

Author: ShimmerShine97xx

Genres: Teen Fiction/ Romance

Rating: PG-13

Summary/ Blurb

         Annie Davis was your average golden girl. She has a killer voice. Friends. Boyfriends. All A's Popularity.

Hence the pretense, was. 2 years ago Annie was gang raped at the age of 15, left in an alleyway to die. Being the strong girl she is, she made it out alive. She dropped her friends, her boyfriend, her school work, and her family.

She doesn't talk. She sings. Talking leaks the possibility of slipping up, and telling someone her darkest secret.

So she keeps to herself. Enter Dylan Heyes. Annie's new music teacher.

She immediately feels drawn to his presence. As Annie and Dylan come closer, what will become of Annie?

Review-

               Well first off Unspoken is short, two pages actually. But for being two pages it does a very good job. The story starts off short and sweet. But I feel like in the beginning we need something. The story starts off so abruptly in the first sentence, I felt like there needed to be something there.

          When reading, I felt like for a lot of it I wasn’t feeling what the main character was feeling.        Some of the best writers do more than just say “I was frightened.” They write “Fear coursed through me as I looked into my captors cold, dark eyes, knowing that there was no good outcome from this, and nothing I could do would change that.” Also, I have no mental images to these characters, when I picture the scenes; all the characters have blank faces. Give your readers something to build off of. But other than that it was good.

     Now for less critiquing and more talking about the good. Firstly, I love the idea you have. It is original and is going to pull people in. If you follow that, you'll have readers. As soon as you get more chapters in, expect from me a promotion piece in my story The Notebook Project. You deserve it, keep writing and you'll go far. I'm very pleased you asked for me to critique your story because I love it. =]

     I’m looking forward to what else you may write using this as your base. It’s a strong foundation, and I plan to continue reading on.=] Keep it original, and you will do fine. Remember descriptions and let your readers feel the story, and the characters emotions. It makes it more raw and realistic.

 Rating- For being only two pages I’ll give it a 7. If it was longer, and had more storyline to it, I would give it an 8.

Overall good job!

-Tara/ @lilshrimp