Judge Me Not

Cinderella VS Prince Charming by LaurenDMSmith, reviewed by HeBrokeMyHeart

Cinderella VS Prince Charming by LaurenDMSmith

Darren dropped the note addressed to the “Prince Charming wannabe” and announced “Well then Cinderella, I propose a game. If I win, you must come away with me. If you win, I leave and never return. The game itself is this: I have to find you.”

Genre – Fantasy

Rating – PG-13

Here’s the mobile link - 2147584

Chapter one

I really enjoyed this chapter even though I found the names of the characters a bit forgettable and hard to pronounce. You give the reader a lot of description which I love as I can imagine myself there, the only thing I would say is give us some more description on the actual characters rather than the setting, the description of the setting is perfec-c-t-t-t, to the t. Though we don’t get to read much about what the characters look like, just a few things about them maybe as you don’t want to give the information out all in one, but maybe just a few details such as height, if they have any facial hair, if their skinny or not, just so that we can identify them. I would also like to know what the prince looks like, I know it’s only the first chapter but just a little information as this is your main character and even though you get his personality through, I just see him as a ghost at the moment with a determined personality. The story line is great, it’s mysterious which I love as it keeps the reader wanting more, also the chapter lengths are great as it isn’t too much or to less. Just one other thing, you may want to go over your punctuation as when reading it you have a lot of full stops which can become tiring for the reader.

Chapter two

I also really enjoyed this chapter too; you give the characters some more description in this one which I love as your drawing an image for the readers. I really enjoy the two little girls in the book, Cate and Paige, I would really like to know more about their relationship to Val though, it may come later in the story; I don’t know, but I think it’s vital we know a little bit more. Also I would say slow down on introducing new characters as too much can overwind the readers mind, forgetting what’s important to remember as so far you have introduced over ten characters I would say in two chapters and it’s hard to remember them or let alone get a reading of who they are.

Over all I really enjoyed this book, the detail is great and it seems as it has a great story line; keep up the good work and good luck in watty awards!  I give this book 4.5*

-          HeBrokeMyHeart <3