Judge Me Not

Beautifully Damaged by Jisabella [Review- LovelornSighs]

Title: Beautifully Damaged

Author: Jisabella

Genre(s): Fantasy/ Teen Fiction

Rating: PG

Blurb: Blaise Anthony woke up in a world that she doesn’t remember. Worse than that, she can’t recall anything about herself- including her name. Sent to a building by a mysterious note, Blaise tries to get back to living her life with her service dog, Bear. But things can’t stay that simple forever, can they?

Review:

I really like the title, there's just something really poetic about it. Your synopsis is also well written, with few minor errors here and there. 

Ok, the first sentence: 'I woke with a start to blinding white lights.' Just 'woke with' sounds a bit awkward, so please put in 'up' between the two. The second sentence sounds strange on it's own, so you might want to connect the two. 

Other than those two errors, when I was reading on, the flow of the story was amazing. I couldn't stop it, the emotion in your descriptions were raw. You made the character come to life, I could feel her distress. Usually, I tend to dislike heavy descriptions upon heavy descriptions, but I think yours was an exception. I think it's because the descriptions are actually necessary and fit in in this case. 

What I particularly liked was the silent screams she was emitting in italics. It was sort of like the final touch to a great piece of art. Oh, and the ending was superb. I didn't even notice the transition (it was so smooth) until I went back. The stuttering, and the last word on it's own-- great. Although I wish you'd use commas more often, because I felt there weren't enough pauses in your writing. I'm super picky about proper grammar, punctuation and spelling; but your story was pretty well written.

I'm sorry about the crap review, but there's nothing much I can advise you on; since you're pretty well on your feet. I guess all I can say is: clean up your mistakes and PROMOTE! Your story is great, it deserves more reads! 

Rating: 9/10

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~Lilly/ LovelornSighs