Judge Me Not

Mr. Perfect [totallyinsane]

Title- Mr. Perfect

Genre- Romance/Humour

Rating- PG-13

Author- xmakeachange22

Review

The title reveals a bit but not a whole lot which means that (if you have the right person looking at the title :P) the reader will want to see how it relates in the story.

The blurb is not the best but again it makes the reader want to read on and answer the question that forms a cliffhanger at the end.

The story is a bit fast paced and I feel as if you can put in more description and slow it down a bit. There is not much character development in the way of personality but the desciption of her face and the way she feels about her looks are good.

The bit about the taxi is not very realistic. You portray Jenny as not very rich and then suddenly she can pay for  a cab fare to get to the Upper Side of the State?! I don't come from America and have never lived there so forgive me if I'm wrong and I'll edit it but most taxis I've been in (here and other countries) are quite expensive for a long journey and from the Lower to the Upper side of a state?!

It's amusing and especially at the end when you give the small cliffhanger.

I don't know if the guy she sees is going to be the guy who is Mr.Perfect but if he is then the introduction is quick, snappy, not snappy and funny which is what I like when it comes to reading about someone meeting the most handsome guy!

Summary

Good, short, quick, funny and snappy. Keep it up! The pace could be a bit more slower and you need to sneak in some character development but other than that great!

Rating

6.8 -nearly a 7! keep it up! :D looking forward to the next chapter!!

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- TI