Title: Serendipity
Author: LadyAireen
Rating: G
Genre: Spiritual; Romance
Blurb: In the beginning, God created the heaven and earth. But something happened between the sixth and seventh day of creation.They say that love is the greatest gift God had ever given to His creations; so what would happen if the very same gift would be the reason why His children would fall, in all sense of the word? A story about God, angels, demons and the essence of faith and love that was hidden from the public and erased from the bible. Because sometimes love can even last through a lifetime and sometimes, Love can make you fall, pure as it may be.
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Rosaline had been used to the strange dreams, visions, voices and accidents. It was a part of her life. Always the same things. But the moment she turned sixteen, the dreams had changed. Clearer and more vivid. The images were becoming real and more whole than ever. New but familiar faces started showing up, claiming things she found hard to believe and the dark forces are now making another move, preparing for a new war, threatening the peace of the world... What's worse is they all want her. Once more, she was faced before a choice, a choice that would change her life forever. The choice that make or break her, a choice that will help determine the fate of mankind. The choice that she had been forced to take centuries ago...Will she remain pure or will she decide to sway again back to the darkness that had once cradled her?
And what if, the dreams that she sees, wasn't really just dreams after all?
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The Review:
Prologue: At first, I was confused as to what was going on, but after I continued it got better. Don't worry about making you're prologue too detailed, because sometimes it helps to draw the reader on, like it did me and plus, a vague prologue adds to the mystery of the book! However, you do need a clear and easy to understand background for you're story. Since you're book is based of the bible and biblical events, you have to make sure that all of you're facts add up and are easy to understand, because you might draw in readers that aren't all thatfamiliar with what you're talking about. Personally, I loved where the scene started of, I've always admired fighting scenes. I thought you portrayed God beautifully. If you were worried about that, don't be. There is not right and wrong when it comes to you're relationship with him, as it will continue to grow...so don't fret (If you were) if you think you portrayed him wrong. There is not way to do that- the way you see God is different from another reader, and so on. The only other thing that I thought was needed was more detail in the setting. Because I've been brought up in a Christan household, I can say that scene was in the Garden of Eden. (Right?) Other people might not know that, so you must keep in mind to have details that describe where certain important places are, it makes it easier to understand what's going on and keep the reader in the book. Overall, I am impressed with you're prologue. It takes guts (REALLY BIG GUTS) to write a public story detailing you're faith and love about God and heaven when everyone is usually writing about mainstream stuff- I like that :) I think you're vocab was great- I also like you're title- and it kept me engrossed. Usually anything angel/demon/God related does that, & yours was no different. So remember, the only thing I thought you couldcritique is adding details to the setting, but other than that you're prologue was beautifully written!
Chapter 1- Off the record: I like the quotes you had above the chapter referring to you're book! Immediately I felt like I needed to read it, just to see if what does quotes said were true. Smart thinking! :)
I'm assuming that the heroine, Rosaline-such a pretty name- is Catholic? I'm not too sure, when when I read a thing about mass that's what I thought. It's okay for the first couple of chapters to be a little boring, since it's just the beginning. I got a lot from this chapter ranging from what happened to Rose's parents to her feel on God. I thought you portrayed her feelings nicely, I could completely relate. There were some typos but that was okay, everyone has mistakes. The only other thing that needs critiquing was the setting again. Remember, not everyone knows exactly what you're talking about in you're story and if you attract readers that aren't familiarwith christian stuff, they need to know what's going on as well. I also liked the meeting with the guy with silver eyes and hair. So cool! (& hot, might I add). So in the end, I liked chapter 1 and would probably drop in to read the rest of you're story when I have time. Don't worry about it being slow paced- you had something gripping in there (the meet-up with silver guy) so it adds to the expectations of where the story will lead.
PS: If you ever find you'reself having writer's block or needing an idea of a scene to read- go back to beginningof you're story and read it! Somehow it works, so try it.
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Rating: 6 out of 10!
If you're interested in an interview message totallyinsane on her personal account and she'll help you out!
~~~If anyone's interested in reading this story, It's in the library! Check it out, you won't regret it!
~~~Review by Paula/Pinkypromise99~~~~
PSS: Please don't take offence to anything I said. I'm trying to critique the story the best I know from what other people (ie: parents, teachers, friends & other authors) have told me.
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