Judge Me Not

In Ever Silence by -1812- {Review by: Pinkypromise99}

Title: In Ever Silence

Author: -1812-

Rating: PG-13

Genre: Fantasy, Romance, Political and Adventure 

Blurb: "They watch the world in ever silence... They are no more and they are no less..."It was a civil war that destroyed them.

The mighty dragons of old fought each other, and forever the sexes were split. Now, every generation a Drace Baron picks a human woman to be his bride. Together they would face the might of the Dracelles' empire, but she remains imprisoned away from anything she ever knew.

When Banni, a young girl forced by circumstance and kin into disguising herself as a man and joining the guard, is taken by Drace Baron Umbrous, the dragon ruling the district of which she lives, she finds herself outed for who she really is and dragged away to his clutches.

Will she be able to escape the castle she is imprisoned in, or is she fated to stay among the powerful barons and their lord?

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The Review:

I read the Prologue and the first chapter, so I'll have different reviewers for both.

The Prologue: I just want to point out that I love the layout of your book. What with the part 1, 2, and 3- I thought that was really professional :) Your prologue was everything a prologue should be. I know that writers think that it should have like vague detail (so it keeps the story interesting) and while that's okay, prologues are usually to point out the background of the main point of theactual story, but doing in it in the time prior to the time your story takes place. Does that make sense? I hope it does. Anyway, my point is, that your prologue was just like it should be. It was really rich, full of so much story that I was actually interested in General Listan Citrine and his beloved and the story between the two of them. Then when the story went into present time (was the early 14th or 15th century?) It added a whole other kind of element to your story. It was like a story within a story...in a story. I love it! It takes someone really creative and imaginative to pull something like that effectively. It's amazing!

Chapter 1: Okay, even in the first chapter there was a MAJOR hook in there, that I'm sure will pull your readers. Honestly, I had no idea that Ban was a girl! In my speech class, one of the main thing my instructor keeps telling me is too have an "attention getter" and "WOW statement" in the beginning and end of of my speech, so I can keep the audience enticed. You'e totally got that, which means, if you stay true to how you write and be yoursefl, you'll definitely have your audience enticed ;) I also liked the date and time you added in the beginning of each chapter. I like doing too, it helps with keeping the flow of time in check, and without any mess or confusion. You've got good character development as well. Which is great, since your story is told out of you're character's eyes- you need realistic, developed, but interesting characters. And you've got 'em! Ban seems like the kind of girl that loves and would do anything for her family. I bet her family is the closest thing she has...and then there's Umbrous. He seems like a slimy jerk...but honestly, I can bet there's a surprising (good) side to him. I'm totally rutting for them to fall in love!

So all in all, there is nothing badly I can critique you on. Not that I can tell. The only thing I noticed were punctuation marks and little things like that. Really, they are small and easy to ignore, but if you look for them, they're there. But they're no major thing, I know tons of authors have those! I know I do. I really like where your story is going and I'll probably check it out once all my school stuff has died down. You've got good elements to your story, don't forget that! If you're worried about getting tons of fans/reads, don't be- you'll get there. A cool tip I got from someone else on Wattpad, I don't remember who, was that to promote your kind of story to your audience. Let's face it, Vamps, Werewolves, and teen fic are all the rage and the fans of those novels are wide. That's not to say that fantasy fans aren't wide, too, all I'm saying is that you can't make someone who likes werewolf stories like fantasy stories. I know your book will go far, it's too not to! Just stay true to you're writing style.

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That's it! I'm also SO SO SOO sorry for how long it took me to read your book! It's been like 2 months!

Rating: 10 out of 10! <3 Amazing!

Good news! You are now able to go for a interview with our very own, Totallyinsane! If you want one, PM her :)

~~For anyone else, if you are interested in this awesome story it'll be in our library, or if you want, click the external link to go right to it!

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Review by: Pinkypromise99