Judge Me Not

Beyond by SilviaV(Reviewed by JanBear_04)

Title- Beyond

Author- SilviaV

Genre- Paranormal & Vampire

Rating- PG

Synopsis- Maev Darion is an almost eighteen year old girl who lives with her Granny as her entire family was killed in an ''accident'', but she wasn't there for long to see what really happened to all of them...

She leads a not so ordinary life as she is bound to be followed by her not so friendly guardian ghost of the family with whom she is secretly in love with. And he seems that he hates her until something happens and changed it all...

But the truth about herself and her powers has been kept a secret to her for her entire life....As the witches blood run through her veins so does the vampire one...

Review-

Well this story by SilviaV is one that I wouldn't have exactly chosen to read for myself only because I'm not such a big fan of vampire stories after reading The House of Night but the beginning of Beyond wasn't so bad. To begin with some positive feedback I would say that you have a really nice cover and you seem to right in a simplistic format which I enjoy reading. English being you second language, I think you did a phenomenal job writing this chapter and I didn't find many errors in your work which was nice seeing as though you haven't edited the chapter just yet. Also you seem to have a nice way of introducing your characters without being so straight forward and explaining their lives to us. You seem to know what path you want to take with your story and have every thing planned out the way you want it. Your chapter is quite easy to follow and separated in a nice way to read. But for your first chapter I don't know if you exactly accomplished the task of catching your readers attention.

 The chapter was nice but maybe some where in the middle is where it would belong. Another thing is that I think that you lacked a bit in detail and description and let your dialogue overpower the chapter. You still have to find that balance that is easy to do but you have to work at it to be successful. There was also some punctuation errors here and there but nothing major and a quick skim couldn't fix. And you have a bit of grammar errors as well. For instance in your first chapter you put, 'And I believe you said it all!' she muttered... when it should be, 'And I believe you said it all!" She muttered... I think you could have also re-phased some of your sentences because they sound a bit awkward but overall I think you did a great job! Look over your chapter a bit and fix up your small errors and I'm sure your chapter will be a lot better than it is.

Rating- 7/10

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By- JanBear_04/Janaka <3

*If any readers would like to read this story it will be in our library, so take a look!