Judge Me Not

Finding Ellie by Jessieeehuang [Review- LovelornSighs]

Title: Finding Ellie

Author:  Jessieeehuang

Genre(s): Teen Fiction/ Romance

Rating: PG

Blurb: The arts… 

One art school…

Hundreds of talented students…

One scandalous rumor…

What do you do?

Meet Ellie Summers, the good girl, the hard worker, the girl who knew what she wanted. One problem though, she has a problem with reality. She runs away from everything that's real. When she gets the opportunity of a lifetime to go dance at one of the most prestigious dance schools in America, she torn between leaving her home, her family and friends, and chasing her dreams. She was about to reject the school, but after a too real confession from her friend scares her off, so she runs to New York to pursue what she does best; lose herself in her dancing and escape reality. It all goes well too, she quickly excels, and even finds someone to lean on. One scandalous rumor, though is all it took for her to fall. So what do you do when you fall down? Ellie does what she does best, she runs from what's real. Life's not that easy though, and you can't keep running. So how long is Ellie going to run and hide until she reaches a breaking point? This is Ellie's story.

Review:

I think I can honestly say that you did a great job on the prologue. I noticed the little note at the bottom that said this was a new prologue. I don't know how the old one was, but I like this new one. At times, you had me frustrated a bit with Ellie's little ramblings about not knowing better. I think you were trying to latch onto that point a little too much. The prologue was well written, with only a few punctuation errors here and there. You need to remember to insert commas more often (People have to pause while reading, they can't just keep racing on.) and use semi-colons to connect similar ideas. 

What I particularly loved about the prologue was the introduction. You introduced how she started dancing, and why she loved it so much. But at the parts where you express how much she loves dancing, there isn't enough vigor and emotion in there. It seems like empty words to me, not the sparks I wanted flying when she says that dancing is EVERYTHING. But you soon recovered, don't worry. 

To improve this prologue, I just want you to get a central point. If you want to keep with the 'didn't know better' thing, keep it. But remember that a prologue doesn't have to be long, so don't drag on the whole thing. 

Good job! Keep writing! :)

Rating: 8/10

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~Lilly